It’s Also the Birthplace of Legends

In its 106 years, the medical center has given life to some tales of legendary proportions. There’s the story of a patient who came all the way from Tijuana by taxi, a tale told earnestly at several different medical center wards. And there’s the tale of the construction crew that built a hallway around its tractor, making it necessary to knock down a just-completed wall in order to remove the large machine.

Once, another story goes, a patient hurled himself out of an upper-floor window, crashed through an emergency room skylight, bounced off a gurney and flopped to the floor, still alive. He was placed back on the gurney, patched up and dispatched back to his ward. Several licensed physicians swear by this.

Frantic Father

Perhaps the best tale, again a story confirmed by many doctors, involves the emergency room of the Pediatrics Pavilion:

One typically busy day a father rushed in and reported his son was out in the car with a mole on his finger.

“You’ve got to get it off,” he demanded.

Moles rank far down the totem pole at any of the center’s four emergency rooms; even gunshot victims can stack up for hours. The father was told to bring his son back some other day, preferably to an outpatient clinic. He only grew more adamant. After much fuss, his case was taken to the doctor in charge. The doctor just happened to be in receipt of a new electric needle, specifically designed to zap moles. He wanted to break it in.

Literal Description

So the child was summoned, and on one of his fingers there was indeed a mole.

It was not, however, the spot-on-the-skin variety. It was an animal mole, furry, with little mole eyes and little mole ears and sharp mole teeth locked down hard.

Undaunted, the doctor took his new gadget and electronically smote the creature.

Next patient.