Lakers’ Loss Sounds a Lot Worse on Radio

Chick Hearn, the official voice of doom of the Lakers, was coming to you from courtside, Portland.

It was midway through the third quarter, and the Lakers trailed the Trail Blazers by 11 points.

“They (the Lakers) could make history if they lose the next four!” Chick prophesied ominously.

Lose the next four ?

In the playoffs, the Lakers destroyed Phoenix in three straight, and had beaten Portland three in a row, twice by lopsided scores.

If the Lakers lose four straight to the Trail Blazers, an earthquake will sever Los Angeles from the Continental Shelf, and the city will float westward, eventually sticking to a sand bar off the coast of Fiji.

Still, Chickie worries any time the Lakers lose a game they should win. Which is to say, any time they lose a game.

The Portland lead grew to 14, still in the third quarter.

“There’s a lot of time, the Lakers can still come back,” said Keith Erickson, Hearn’s broadcast sidekick.

“You been out in the rain too much,” Chick snorted tactfully.

Hearn spotted a minor flaw in the Laker defense.

“The Laker defense looks like a Venetian blind with the slats open,” Chick reported, in disgust.

OK, Chick, but how’s the Lakers’ shooting this afternoon?

“The Lakers today,” Hearn reported gravely, “couldn’t throw a pickle in the Willamette.”

The Willamette is a wide river. The pickle is a narrow vegetable.

At least if the Trail Blazers win, they won’t gloat, will they? And their fans won’t jeer the Lakers out of town after this game, will they?

“They don’t like the Lakers,” Chick said of the Portland players and fans. “They despiiiiiise the Lakers.”

At least the Lakers coaching staff is working hard to make on-the-spot adjustments today, right, Chick?

“The Lakers are being exposed so-o-o badly,” Chick clucked. “They have not made any adjustments or corrections.”

On TV, two guys named Verne Lundquist and James Brown were broadcasting a basketball playoff game.

On the radio, Chick was calling the play-by-play of the last flight of the Hindenburg, direct from the captain’s cockpit.

Still, Hearn wasn’t willing to give up hope. For years, remember, he’s been telling us to stick around folks, a 50-point lead means nothing in the NBA.

The Lakers cut the Portland lead to eight.

“Four minutes and one second (remaining), so many things can happen,” Chick reminded the audience.

Most of those things didn’t happen, however, and the Lakers lost for the first time in the playoffs.

Not a major disaster, when viewed from a distance and put into perspective. But who can blame Chick and the legion of Laker fans for being a little nervous or impatient?

After all, this is the Season of the Lakers. The media is gearing up to start calling the Lakers, if they reach the NBA finals with no major hitches, potentially the greatest basketball team of all time.

Think about it:

--Kareem Abdul-Jabbar will never be better. At his age, this might be the greatest scorer’s last great season. And he has wisely conserved his energy for these playoffs, where he is dusting off old tricks like jumping for rebounds and defending the lane.

--Magic Johnson and Michael Cooper are at the very peak of their respective games. Magic won’t win the league’s MVP award, but if the Lakers win the NBA championship, Magic will be the unofficial season MVP.

If they don’t win, Magic might unofficially die of frustration, or retire and take up an easier and more fulfilling sport, like whitewater rafting with no raft.

--James Worthy and Byron Scott aren’t at the peaks of their respective games yet, but they are close enough, both approaching superstardom at just the right time.

If you like blends of experience and youth, you have to love the Lakers.

--The Lakers are so healthy, it’s scary. Now, deep in the season when mortal teams are breaking down and sustaining casualties, the Lakers are getting healthier.

Not only is nobody hurt (except Jamaal Wilkes, who went out of action early enough in the season to give the team time to adjust), but guys who were hurt are getting healthy.

In the rugged NBA, this is equivalent to an army storming a beachhead and coming out of the battle with no casualties, only a nice sun tan.

Even Mitch Kupchak is usable, and even the fragile Bob McAdoo is fit, giving the Lakers a level of potential bench strength that is almost frightening.

This whole combination of factors only comes along about once in a century, tops.

Maybe that’s why Chick is a little worried. This is no time to be messing around losing to teams like the Portland Trail Blazers, no disrespect intended.

This is a team of destiny. This is the Lakers’ year.