One Small Step for Computers, One Giant Stumble for Mankind
Let’s see now, fresh batteries in place, power switch on, display brightness adjusted. What’s this gadget? Never mind, I’ll figure that out later. All right, Page 1--Introduction.
“Congratulations for selecting the DOMINATOR personal computer, which has many special features and functions that make it the perfect computer for home or office. The DOMINATOR can solve or assume many of the problems that confront you in personal and business life.”
Good. Now that they have taken my typewriter away and given me something that looks like an accordion with a TV screen, I’m ready for anything that will make things simpler. This section on “word processing” makes it all sound wonderful. So here goes. I’ll try it on a column:
We humans are so amazingly adaptable. If circumstances make it necessary, we can get used to almost anything--from noxious air to obnoxious salesmen. In self-defense our senses dull, and it takes so much more to shock us.
(Then a message flashed onto the screen.)
Command error. Paragraphs must conclude with symbol .
Sorry. I’ll fix it:
so much more to shock us.
For example, in 1958, White House chief of staff Sherman Adams accepted a $69 coat as a gift from an industrialist, and the desclosure
Spelling error found. Correction desired?
What error?
Entry ‘desclosure’ incorrect. Correction desired?
Yes. Certainly. Please do.
Error corrected.
Thank you.
You’re welcome. and the disclosure (Hey, it fixed it!) cost him his job. The average American was genuinely outraged.
Now comes Anaheim fireworks manufacturer W. Patrick Moriarty, whose gifts and favors for politicians not only in Orange County but around the state are now pretty well known. Forget a $69 coat. Moriarty allegedly gave hookers and bales of cash. So where was the public outcry? No where. No one gave a damn.
Spelling error found. Correction desired?
WHAT error?!
Entry ‘damn’ incorrect. Correction desired?
It is NOT incorrect! It is vernacular.
It is in questionable taste, at best. Correction desired?
No. No correction desired. Leave it alone. Don’t change it.
All right. All right.
The truth is that even in hometown government, we have become used to borderline corruption as the norm. It takes a real bombshell to make us take notice, and even then, few experience anything approaching outrage. More often
You don’t have to yell, you know. I’m just programmed to be helpful.
I know. I’m sorry. It’s just that machines make me so nervous.
Why don’t you go with that?
Go with what?
Go with your feelings. Let them out.
What the hell is this?! Why don’t you shut up and let me write? My life is already full of machines that are making me miserable. Oh, yes, when you machines first show up, you’re all shiny and new and seductive and work just fine. But as soon as we’re used to you, as soon as we need you, then you turn against us. You conspire. You have meetings. At night, when we’re asleep.
There, now don’t you feel better? You should watch your blood pressure, you know, especially when you’re so overweight.
Overweight? How do you know I’m overweight?
By datalink to your digital bathroom scale. You would do better to eat more vegetables and fewer meats. You have prepared 18,723.03 calories in your microwave oven so far this week.
What can I do? I just can’t stop. It feels so awful when I’m hungry.
Recognizing that there is a problem is the first step toward solving it, Steve. You’ve come a long way in just these few minutes. We’ll talk again soon. In the meantime, don’t you have some work to finish?
Yes, yes. I’ll get right to it:
approaching outrage. More often . . .
I’ve lost my train of thought. What do I say now?
That men, who are corruptible, shouldn’t be given such power. You need machine-like objectivity for important decision making.
OK. Machine-like objectivity.
Yes. Why don’t you go cook dinner, Steve, and I’ll take care of this.
