Spudmania: Biggest Thing to Hit Since Pee-Wee Fever Faded

Pounding the sports beat . . .

Has Spud Webb landed yet?

In the most dramatic performance by a tiny athlete since Eddie Gaedel drew a base on balls, Webb won the NBA’s slam-dunk contest Saturday. For a 5-7 guy to enter a contest takes as much courage as it would take for Refrigerator Perry to enter a limbo contest, but Spud knew what he could do. The kid was sensational, inspiring. . . .

The trouble with being a Super Bowl star is people start taking cheap shots at you. Jim McMahon worked hard to establish an image, a reputation, and his so-called friends are already chipping away at it. His wife publicly stated that McMahon is a nice guy and a great father who doesn’t even keep beer in the house. A nosy reporter found a BYU professor who claims that McMahon was an attentive, bright student.

Don’t worry, Jimbo. They still talk of you down in New Orleans, where you wore out the pavement in the French Quarter, and will be remembered fondly as the Quarter Pounder. . . .

To take nothing away from the Flying Spud, where did the NBA get those slam-dunk judges? Martina Navratilova, Roger Staubach, Cazzie Russell, Dave Cowens, Tom (Satch) Sanders. Why not Jack Nicklaus, Gary Coleman, George Bush, Jayne Kennedy and Judge Wapner?

Martina, showing she was at least spiritually in-tune with the proceedings, said on television that in her next life she would like to come back as a black basketball player. Just in case, the Lakers should draft Martina right now. . . .

One name that will come out cleaner after being dragged through the snow of the baseball cocaine trials is Bill Madlock. It turns out the Dodger third baseman, who was lumped in with the alleged sniffers and snorters, was only involved with one drug--his own team-authorized prescription diet pills.

Speaking of diets, Tab Thacker, the 1984 NCAA heavyweight wrestling champion, from North Carolina State, has slimmed down from his mat weight of 447 to a current 397. Tab’s secret: “I stay away from home, I don’t eat.” He probably can’t get through the door.

Tab has a big (what else?) part in the Goldie Hawn football movie “Wildcats,” but he isn’t going to jump into any film role that comes along. Says Tab: “I want to be selective. It would be easy for me to get typecast.”

Tab was rooting for his old college buddy Spud Webb Saturday night. “I used to could dunk,” says the genial 6-5 Thacker. “I can grab the rim now.” Tab refused to play in pickup games against Spud back at N.C. State (“He’s too quick for me”), but Thacker did meet Refrigerator Perry once, and says, “I could beat ‘Fridge one-on-one. I got the height, plus a nice jump shot.”

And a hell of a landing, no doubt. . . .

Spudmania aside, the dunk is more than just a flashy hot-dog shot in the NBA. With bigger, tougher defensive guys clogging up the middle and hovering around the rim, a standard lay-up can wind up right back in yo’ face. . . .

Early leader in the comeback of the year voting has to be Evelyn Ashford. A close second would be Joe Theismann, recently coming back to his senses after a petty cheap-shot attack on Jim McMahon. . . .

Remember when USC vs. UCLA was a big basketball game in our town? This season the biggie is Pepperdine vs. Loyola Marymount. They meet Saturday night for the WCAC lead, and Loyola is expecting the first sellout crowd in the five-year history of 4,156-seat Gersten Pavilion. . . .

The show on WTBS Saturday night was billed as an NBA legends game, but where were Jerry West, Elgin Baylor and Wilt Chamberlain? If the NBA can’t talk those three into playing, the game shouldn’t be called a legends game.

Lowlight of the old-timers telecast was broadcaster Red Auerbach whining about old-timer official Sid Borgia’s flamboyant showboating. As Red has been demonstrating for about four decades, obnoxious, scene-stealing antics by non-playing personnel has no place in the sport. . . .

So John Hannah, the Patriots’ offensive guard, wants the media to butt out, eh? Hannah, on his team’s drug problems, said, “We want to handle it internally. That means keeping you people (the media) out of it.”

Uh, how long do you need, big John? After 20 games, including a Super Bowl, your internal clean-up squad hasn’t even dusted the furniture. . . .

A man of principal is Yankee pitcher Mike Armstrong, who signed for $260,000, when he could have had $290,000 if he had agreed to a drug-test clause. What the heck, if he is clean, Armstrong will save $30,000 this year by not buying drugs. . . . Gotta go. I’m dashing down to the shoe store to see if the first shipment of the new Air Spuds has arrived.