They Live and Play by Their Wits

“Baseball Wit,” a new book written by Bill Adler, is filled with quotes, some of which you may have heard but are worth repeating. They include:

--During spring training, Yogi Berra, asked what his cap size was, said: “I don’t know, I’m not in shape yet.”

--Berra: “Baseball is 90% mental; the other half is physical.”

--Pitcher Paul Splittorff, about a George Brett home run: “Anything that goes that far ought to have a stewardess on it.”

--Pitcher Curt Simmons, talking about Hank Aaron: “Trying to sneak a fastball past him is like trying to sneak the sunrise past a rooster.”

--Pitcher Doc Medich, talking about Rickey Henderson: “He’s like a little kid in a train station. You turn your back on him and he’s gone.”

--Mickey Mantle, on his 46th birthday: “If I knew I was going to live this long, I’d have taken better care of myself.”

--Dan Quisenberry: “I’ve seen the future and it’s much like the present, only longer.”

--Tug McGraw, after getting a pay raise: “About 90% I’ll spend on good times, women and Irish whiskey. The other 10% I’ll probably waste.”

Add “Baseball Wit”: Berra and the late Casey Stengel are the stars of the book. Here are some of Stengel’s gems:

Stengel, at 75, said: “Most people are dead at my age. You could look it up.”

And: “All right, everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height.”

And: “I got a kid, Greg Goosen, he’s 19 years old and in 10 years he’s got a chance to be 29.”

Trivia time: Angel rookie Wally Joyner already has hit 15 home runs. Which two players share the record for the most home runs in a season by a rookie.

What’s in a name?: NBC sportscaster Bob Costas, who reneged on his promise to name his first-born Kirby if Minnesota Twins’ outfielder Kirby Puckett was hitting .350 on May 1, caused quite a stir among Puckett fans.

Costas, reeling from the assaults on his integrity, has made out a new birth certificate for two-week-old Keith Michael Costas. The name is now Keith Michael Kirby Costas.

A plea for help: About 2,000 fans greeted the Houston Rockets at Intercontinental Airport upon their return from Los Angeles Thursday.

Coach Bill Fitch, addressing the enthusiastic crowd, said: “I want to thank you all for coming out here with this display of enthusiasm. I hope it’s contagious. Save some of this enthusiasm for Boston. We’re going to need it.”

Rocky road: Heavyweight champion Michael Spinks fights Paul Fasolas today in Philadelphia.

Paul Fasolas? No, you won’t find him in the Ring record book. He’s not a professional fighter. He’s 34 years old and owns an ice-cream store in Orlando, Fla.

The fight, at Joe Frazier’s Gym, is being taped for an upcoming “Sports Fantasy” show on NBC.

Fasolas’ fantasy was to fight a pro fighter. He didn’t expect to step into the ring against the heavyweight champion.

For part of the segment, Fasolas will be taped training on the steps of the Philadelphia Art Museum and in Philadelphia’s meat district, a la Rocky Balboa. He may even pound on a slab of beef.

Trivia answer: Wally Berger of the 1930 Boston Braves and Frank Robinson of the 1956 Cincinnati Reds each hit 38.

Quotebook

Minnesota pitcher Bert Blyleven: “I was throwing between starts in Baltimore, and I found my curveball. I looked under the bench, and it was just sitting there. . . . I once found my fastball in Cleveland. It was in lost-and-found. Last year, I lost my mechanics in Toronto. There are parts of me all over the league.”