SKINNED ALIVE

Neither death nor the Sly Stallone fans nor the critics took a holiday last weekend.

“Cobra” box office was lively. It had the year’s biggest opening, with $15.6 million in three days (at a record 2,131 theaters). Still, “Rambo” proved tougher when it opened (this time last year) with $25 million (at 2,074 theaters) in its opening three days.)

The reviews also were lively, according to our survey:

“A violent disgrace that should be removed from theaters”--CNN’s Dennis Michael.

“If your idea of fun is an afternoon at the slaughterhouse with the Manson family, ‘Cobra’ is the scuzz-sucking, low-life, sleazeball motion picture for you”--Orange County Register’s Michael Burkett.

“The film trades on the same technique used by books that attack pornography by printing examples of the dirty pictures. ‘Cobra’ pretends to be against the wanton violence of a disintegrating society, but it’s really the apotheosis of that violence”--New York Times’ Nina Darnton.

“If this guy (Stallone) tripped over a print of ‘Citizen Kane,’ he not only wouldn’t know what it was, he’d hit somebody over the head with it”--Washington Post’s Paul Attanasio.

“ ‘Cobra’ is a violence pig-out. Only the stunt men and armaments vendors needed to read the script”--L.A. Daily News’ Kirk Honeycutt.

“ ‘Cobra’ makes even ‘Rambo’ look like ‘Ran’ “--USA Today’s Mike Clark.

“Citizen Stallone. Like the scum he incinerates in his movies, Stallone has the right to remain silent. Please”--Her-Ex’s Peter Rainer.

“It’s not deserving of any number--not even a minus”--KABC’s Gary Franklin.

“The movie itself is the disease. I’m not sure about the cure”--KNBC’s David Sheehan.

“A new low for Hollywood’s highest-paid illiterate . . . this piece of steaming crud”--San Jose Mercury News’ Glenn Lovell.

But there were also some “Cobra” likers:

“A very good bad movie”--S.F. Chronicle’s Peter Stack.

“Maximizing ‘Cobra’s’ strike is George P. Cosmatos’ tight, vigorous direction”--Hollywood Reporter’s Duane Byrge.

“His low-key personality defined by his souped-up gray 1950 Mercury coupe and funny throwaway lines of dialogue, Stallone’s Cobra is far more ingratiating than his recent Rocky and Rambo guises”--Daily Variety’s Lawrence Cohn.

“You can say what you want about Stallone, but he does know what people want . . . ‘Cobra’ is slam-bang, razzle-dazzle all-stops-out action for an hour and a half”--WNBC’s Pia Lindstrom, NYC.

“Stallone is dynamite”--”Good Morning America’s” Joel Siegel.

“Its scummy excuses for patriotic violence may stick in the craw and its political dice are loaded, but the bad guys are soooo bad most people will forgive themselves for getting caught up in this mindless entertaining violence”--Detroit Free Press’ Catherine Rambeau.

“Hey--Sly does have his new wife in the movie; and he also has a nice, disparaging sense of humor about it all; and he knows that, if a movie doesn’t take itself too seriously and is exciting and fast, well, few will mind if it doesn’t make total sense”--WCBS-TV’s Dennis Cunningham, NYC.

Liveliest headlines:

“STALLONE: HE IS STILL A JERK”

--Miami Herald

“OUR TEFLON MOVIE STAR INVADES CLINT EASTWOOD TERRITORY”

--Seattle Times

CALLING THIS FILM ‘COBRA’ IS UNFAIR TO SNAKES

--Orange County Register