VALLEY DEATH

In her review of the new musical comedy “Growing Pains” at the Westwood Playhouse, Sylvie Drake writes, “For all its friendly/funny easy derogation about the Valley and its Valleyites, ‘Growing Pains,’ which had a successful run at the Valley’s Room for Theatre last summer, has not weathered the trip over the hills especially well.”

(Why do I get the feeling that Drake gags every time she writes the “V” word?)

There’s only one way to keep this north-of-the-border banality from polluting the stages of the city sophisticates. Post an armed border patrol along Mulholland Drive, with instructions to shoot on sight any Valleyback minstrels traveling south without a Gucci greencard.

MAXINE SCHNEIDERMAN

Studio City