The 10 Ways to Win a Pulitzer Prize

In reference to Mike Downey’s column (Jan. 4), specifically to his derogation of the Cleveland Browns, I would like to suggest 10 ways that Mr. Downey could possibly obtain a Pulitzer Prize:

1. By gunpoint.

2. In his wildest dreams.

3. By changing his name to Mother Teresa.

4. If the prize is ever awarded by National Lampoon.

5. By theft.

6. If the prize is ever awarded by lottery.

7. If they added a category for mediocrity.

8. If his family is appointed to the awards committee.

9. If the awards committee undergoes lobotomies.

10. Finally, undoubtedly, if he would take up another profession.

DENNIS M. WALSH

Northridge