THE CRITICS’ ‘86 BOOS, BRAVOS

The following is a concise, sometimes contradictory sampling of film critics’ comments for 1986:

“The Mission”--”The year’s most bloated, pretentious offering starred a comatose Robert De Niro.”--Glenn Lovell, San Jose Mercury-News.

“Down and Out in Beverly Hills”

--”The year’s best comedy.”--Roger Ebert, Chicago Sun-Times.

--”Limp comedy that audiences mistook for deep social satire.”--Roxanne Mueller, Cleveland Plain Dealer.

“Top Gun”--”For once Hollywood scored a Zeitgeistliche bull’s-eye; how did they know that Tom Cruise would prefigure Ollie North?”--Andrew Kopkind, the Nation.

“Ferris Bueller’s Day Off”--”John Hughes’ nauseating distillation of the slack, greedy side of Reaganism.”--David Denby, New York.

“ ‘Crocodile’ Dundee”--”The year’s most American film in spirit.”--Vincent Canby, the New York Times.

“Vamp”--”OK, watching Grace Jones rip a woman’s heart right out of her chest was interesting, but what else can you show me?”--Kerry Drake, Wyoming Tribune-Eagle.

“Aliens”

--”Sigourney Weaver becomes Macho Woman in a spectacularly exciting adventure yarn.”--Roxanne Mueller, Cleveland Plain Dealer.

--”Continued to play on our deepest fears. All this and Sigourney Weaver in underwear, too.”--Douglas Armstrong, Milwaukee Journal.

--”Two hours of dodging slime.”--Gene Siskel, Chicago Tribune.

“Something Wild”--”The movie ‘Blue Velvet’ could have been, with a villain who is truly scary because you like him so much.”--Harper Barnes, St. Louis Post-Dispatch.

“Something Wild”--”Took the form of a dream that goes sour; David Lynch’s ‘Blue Velvet’ was like a nightmare from which we never awaken.”--Peter Keough, Chicago Reader.

“Blue Velvet”--”Was certainly unconventional, but was it any good? I found the line between the two too blurry to distinguish.”--Drake, Wyoming Tribune-Eagle.

“The Fly”

--”I can admire it as much as I despise ‘Blue Velvet’ without editorializing one way or another about violence on the screen.”--Andrew Sarris, Village Voice.

--”Demonstrated what you can do when you re-think a movie instead of simply recycling it.”--Desmond Ryan, Philadelphia Inquirer.

--”The grossest, most disgusting movie ever made.”--Roxanne Mueller, Cleveland Plain Dealer.

“Wise Guys”--”Brian DePalma directing a comedy? Maybe he’ll bring his inimitable light touch next to commercials for feminine hygiene products.”--Candice Russell, Fort Lauderdale (Fla.) News and Sun-Sentinel.

“Hannah and Her Sisters”--”Took 19 movies, but it was worth the wait to hear Allen proclaim that, ‘The heart is a very, very resilient little muscle.’ “--Joanne Rhetts, Charlotte (N.C.) Observer.

--”He (Allen) is the yuppie Spielberg, the smart, allusive Dr. Feelgood. It’s movie-going as status-seeking.”--Jeff Simon, Buffalo (N.Y.) News.

“Vasectomy”--”Somebody should have yelled, ‘Cut!’ “--Irene B. Nicholas, Stamford (Conn.) Advocate.