TV REVIEW : ‘CONSPIRACY OF LOVE’ IS EVEN HARD TO LIKE

Grandfather knows best. Wow, what a heartwarming, funny movie someone could have made out of that concept for Robert Young. But, oh, what a mess “Conspiracy of Love” turned out to be.

Airing 9-11 p.m. Sunday on CBS (Channels 2 and 8), “Conspiracy of Love” casts Young as “Grampa Joe” and Drew Barrymore (the once-little girl in “E.T.”) as his granddaughter Jody. So far, so good. The most interesting thing about the film is the chemistry between two actors who are playing different, older characters than they’re used to. (They share the same birthday--Feb. 22--though Young was born in 1907 and Drew in 1975.) And both give it their best--considering the circumstances.

The circumstances are that the film’s makers--producer Nelle Nugent, director Noel Black, writer Barry Morrow--never seemed to have figured out what “Conspiracy” is about. At various moments it almost seems to be about something , including: Grandfather as substitute father (Dad’s been missing for a couple of years). Dreams and lies (Grampa exaggerates his past). The new edging out the old (Grampa’s losing his barber shop to a boutique). Grandparents’ Rights (to see Jody after her mother doesn’t want them to). But there’s no real focus, and loose ends are strewn like shreds in a paper chase.

Too much here makes too little sense. Why does Jody believe Grampa Joe earned the baseball trophies on his barbershop shelf when his tall tales about the past make no such claims? Why do the grandparents, after Mom and Jody have moved out, take in the very first applicant as a boarder when he’s obviously an obnoxious jerk?

Why does Mom (Glynnis O’Connor) clap a restraining order on the grandparents when there isn’t enough motivation for such an extreme move? (The probable reason: to set up a court scene where Young can make the climactic--and terribly written--speech.)

And finally, why--after a fairly pleasant first half-hour that establishes a believable Chicago setting--would anyone keep watching a TV movie as confused and namby-pamby as “Conspiracy of Love”?