Only a Phone Call Away From Being Hot Again

“I’d like people to know I’m still here,” Kaye Ballard announced. “Alive and singing and kicking and laughing.

“I honestly feel frustrated because I haven’t done what I can do. I haven’t shown people all I can do. And I’ve gotten better in the last five years. I want to do the right TV series, I want to do the right Broadway show. I want to do the right movie. Oh, would I like to do the right movie.”

In the meantime, Ballard is content to sing: On Wednesday she begins a two-week engagement at the Studio One Backlot. The program, she says, “is a potpourri: ‘My Son the Stripper,’ ‘I Won’t Sing a Sondheim Song’--some old, and a lot new.”

But the singing date, she points out quickly, is just a stopover point. After being away from Los Angeles for five years (she divides time between a small Palm Springs home and a New York apartment), the actress has her sights--and heart--set on the small screen.

“When I’m in Casper, Wyo., people come up to me and say, ‘Why aren’t you on television?’ I say, ‘Write to them.’ Do the networks pay attention? I don’t think so,” she says. “But I keep getting letters.”

Most of those letter writers, Ballard added, are fans of the NBC series “The Mothers-in-Law” in which she starred with Eve Arden, “which is really bizarre, because the show was only on for two seasons--20 years ago.”

Indeed, “Mothers-in-Law” made such a huge impact that many people have trouble divorcing Ballard from that matronly Italian image. “When people see me, they’re shocked,” she said. “They say, ‘You don’t look so old.’

“Well, when I was on ‘Mothers-in-Law’ I was only 39--and (the actor playing) my son was 33. And I’m very proud of being Italian, but I don’t think I look Italian. I resent that in California they’ve pigeonholed me as that. I just played a Southern woman in ‘Murder of Crows.’ I played an Englishwoman in ‘She Stoops to Conquer.’ ”

The Cleveland-born Ballard, who joined Spike Jones’ band as a tuba player and was later signed by Phil Silvers for the national tour of “Top Banana,” has been busy over the past five years. She played the White House last year with Mel Torme, Patti Austin and Marvin Hamlisch (“That’s not chopped liver”).

“My show (“Hey, Ma!,” Off Broadway) was nominated for awards. I did ‘Pirates of Penzance’ on Broadway for 53 weeks. I just did a new play in Columbus. And I did ‘Nunsense’ (at the Burt Reynolds Dinner Theatre) for (next to) nothing because we all wanted to have fun.”

Finding work, Ballard noted, is not the problem. It’s finding work that really pays. Ah, well, she shrugged, that’s show business.

“You’re always a phone call away from being hot again. Look at Jackie Mason. The happiest time I ever had in my career--my long career--was during ‘Mothers-in-Law.’ You can’t beat TV for the security and the recognition. When I hear people complain about being on a long series, I want to sit them down and have a long talk with them.

“But what does it all mean?,” she said with a sigh. “I still wish I had money in the bank. I still wish I had the ability to pick and choose. I’m like the dog at the table. The next bite’s gonna be mine.”