Capricious Cupid : From the Simple to the Lavish, You Can Get It for Your Valentine

Too often around Valentine’s Day, there’s a moment when you’d like to lose the one you love. Just have him or her disappear. Maybe reappear on Feb. 15, no questions asked. Not that you have anything against your sweetheart. Fact of the matter is, things have been going pretty well lately. No, the dilemma concerns the Day of Love itself.

For some reason, nothing you might think of doing seems quite right. The problem is that all the traditional things to do on Valentine’s Day--cards, flowers, candy, a lovely little piece of jewelry, an intimate dinner in some cozy restaurant--are so, well, traditional.

Want Something Spectacular

What you want is a grand gesture. Something with style. Something that will enthrall your sweetheart, absolutely shatter him or her with your generosity, imagination and devotion to the other’s happiness. Let’s let John R. Hundley be an inspiration to us all.

Who’s John R. Hundley? He’s the owner of a Downey-based construction firm, a resident of Laguna Hills, and Friday he stunned his wife, Bette, with the announcement that they were flying to New York for the weekend.

Listen to their agenda: Friday night at a Rodney Dangerfield concert, supper at Regine’s and a horse-drawn carriage ride back to the hotel (though this may be canceled, what with the weather); Saturday morning at Christie’s Furs for a new mink coat, lunch at the Windows on the World restaurant, dinner at Trumpet’s, the top restaurant at the Grand Hyatt Hotel, which is where they are staying, orchestra seats at “Phantom of the Opera” and finally, the Rainbow Room for champagne, desserts and dancing. Just brunch and lingering are planned for Sunday before the Hundleys return to California.

It should be said: Hundley didn’t come up with this whole agenda himself. It’s the New York Grand Hyatt’s top Valentine’s package: $10,000, all inclusive. Also, this wasn’t just a Valentine extravagance. The Hundleys are celebrating their 31st wedding anniversary.

The Grand Hyatt had only one of these $10,000 packages available, and now Hundley has that. But you might still be able to get in on the “Ultimate Lover’s Dining Experience” being offered by the Four Seasons Biltmore in Santa Barbara for $1,000.

If a nice dinner in Santa Barbara doesn’t work for you, there are still more possibilities.

First, however, let’s establish that none of these preclude the cute card, the flowers and the candy. Those are as integral to Valentine’s Day as eggnog and pine wreaths are to Christmas, fireworks and hot dogs to the Fourth of July, dreidels and potato latkes to Hanukkah.

Even here though, there are variations. You could give the card or the flowers anonymously, or sign just an initial, the way people did in the early days of Valentine-ing. Originally, you see, the valentine was considered a mock sentiment, a way of teasing the object of your affections, a flirtation. Rather than an intense statement of one’s willingness to make a commitment, love was seen as a highly enjoyable state where people laughed and smiled a lot.

Today, it’s entirely relevant to ask yourself if you care enough to improve. If so, the perfect Valentine’s Day gift might be some therapy. You and your love could do it together.

If you own a computer, how about springing $50 or so for one of the new computer software programs such as InterActive Softwear’s Heart-to-Heart, where you place your love seat in front of your PC (IBMs and compatibles) and answer questions about your relationship. The program then generates a guided communication session for a private couple discussion. (You can place orders for Heart-to-Heart by calling (800) 424-7669.)

Considerably more intense, the 10-session computer-assisted psychotherapy program developed by Santa Monica psychotherapist Dr. Roger Gould begins tomorrow, Valentine’s Day, at Pritikin Centers around the Southland.

The idea is to use the computer to cut away all the hours used in normal therapy to define the areas of stress. The problems are then worked out with a specially trained counselor. Ten hourlong sessions, split between the computer and the therapist, are $40 each. The program is also available through several private psychologists and the Cigna Health Plan, and at College Hospital in Cerritos, South Coast Counseling Center in Costa Mesa and Los Altos Hospital in Long Beach.

Romance Guru

If therapy seems too offbeat a Valentine, there are other gestures of affection. Romance guru Robert Badal, whose seminars around the Southland have expanded to a monthly newsletter called “Romancing L.A.” (available for $36 a year from Badal at 195 Claremont, Suite 108, Long Beach 90803), is big on playing out romantic fantasies.

For an afternoon straight out of “Love Story,” for instance, how about wandering over to UCLA and picnicking in the sculpture garden, maybe stopping by the Wight Gallery or taking in the free concert by the Young Musicians Foundation Debut Orchestra at Royce Hall.

There’s also the Hollywood fantasy: dinner at Musso and Frank’s, the favorite hangout of Dashiell Hammett and Lillian Hellman; or the Cinegrill at the Hollywood Roosevelt Hotel, which is where Clark Gable and Carole Lombard liked to catch a few hours for themselves. You might drive to Long Beach, take advantage of the Viscount Hotel’s $49-for-two special, dine in the Queen Mary’s Art Deco lounge, tour the boat and seal the day by stealing a kiss in the engine room.

“Maybe because it’s such an odd place,” Badal says, “but it’s very romantic to kiss a girl in an engine room.”

Or you could throw a picnic together and head up the coast. If you do this on Sunday and get as far as Santa Ynez, there’s a concert of rock standards scheduled 1-4 p.m. on the lawn of the Santa Ynez Winery, 343 N. Refugio Road. The $10 ticket price includes a complimentary glass of wine and souvenir logo glass.

Way before Santa Ynez, just around Malibu, is one of Badal’s favorite view spots. Just turn toward the hills at Coral Canyon and when the road stops, climb to the top. From this spot, a bleak setting of dry earth and boulders, you have a panorama of the San Fernando Valley, the Pacific coast and downtown Los Angeles.

Some more possibilities:

--Run for love. This weekend is very big for races with names like the Heart Run, Sweatin’ Sweethearts, Valentine Two by Four Relay. A complete listing is in the On the Run column on Page 6 of this section. Take a closer look at just one, N-SYNC’s second annual Sweetheart Run today at Playa del Rey’s Dockweiler Beach. It begins at 8 a.m. for the 5K and 8:30 a.m. for 10K. And a very nice thing, you don’t need a sweetheart to run. In fact, say the organizers, if you don’t have a sweetheart today--with 3,500 participants expected, you just might by tomorrow.

--Dance for love. OK, so you haven’t danced since your high school prom. All the better reason to stun the love of your life with the announcement that tonight’s the night. The dance floor is polished and the band is hot at most of the Southland’s larger hotels. But there are other options, like the Hollywood-Los Feliz Jewish Community Center, which will have a ‘50s style deejay, beer keg and soda fountain, at its dance tonight at 8 p.m. at the center, 1110 Bates Ave.

Asian Rehabilitation Services Inc. and the National Coalition for Redress and Reparation will split the proceeds from the Valentine’s Dance at the Gardena Valley Japanese Cultural Institute, 16215 S. Gramercy, tonight from 8 to 1 a.m. The sound will be Oldies But Goodies.

ArtPartners, a membership support group of the University Art Museum at Cal State Long Beach, is sponsoring a dance tonight in the Grand Salon Ballroom of the Queen Mary. For $75 per couple, you get a buffet dinner, dancing to the Richard Franke Orchestra and a live auction of valentines created for the occasion by 60-plus Long Beach artists. Tickets will be sold at the door.

Y.E.S. (Young Executive Singles) Network will host its South Bay Valentine’s Day Networking Cocktail Party Sunday at the Westend Tennis Club, 4343 Spencer St., Torrance from 7 p.m. to 1 p.m. It’s disco here, plus a dinner buffet and a “Heartthrob Networking Game,” all for $15 at the door.

Don Your Running Shoes

Or you can race down to the Long Beach Pier this afternoon and catch the 2:15 cruise boat to Catalina. A little sun, a little shopping, then dinner and dancing to Bob Crosby and the Bobcats at the Casino Ballroom. If you don’t want to spend the night, Catalina Cruises has a 12:30 a.m. boat returning to the mainland. The package, including dinner, dance and round-trip transportation (but not the overnight), is $65 per person.

--Get married. (This option--for singles only--works nicely in concert with any of the others.) The second Sunday in February is World Marriage Day and because this year it falls on Valentine’s Day, you’re really checking off two celebrations with one ring.