Spaceman Perfect Candidate for This Party

The Republicans and Democrats got the headlines, but the Rhinoceros Party also made a statement on Super Tuesday.

Bill Lee, the former pitcher who is known as Spaceman, won the endorsement of the party that “promises never to keep its promises.”

Said the Associated Press: “In voting Tuesday night at the Bench, a bar in Lowell, Mass., north of Boston, Lee received 59.7% of the vote, according to Rhino Party spokesman Gregg Duin. The bartender, he added, got 57.2%.”

The Rhinoceros Party, which originated in Canada, was formed by a group of dissatisfied citizens who were inspired by a hippopotamus that won a local election in Sao Paulo, Brazil, in the 1950s. The party was named after a rhinoceros in a Quebec zoo.

“The rhino is our symbol because he’s myopic, thick-skinned, stupid, loves to wallow in the mud and flees at the first sign of trouble--the perfect politician,” said party janitor and campaign director Charlie McKenzie.

Said the AP: “Rhinos advocate ‘the power of positive absurdity in the face of absolute idiocy.’ They encourage the press to misquote them and propose lowering the boiling point of water to save energy.”

Mike Tyson told the New York Times his biggest surprise in Japan so far is how people leave their valuables around unattended without fear of having them stolen.

“The other day I sent out a pair of pants to be cleaned with $700 in the pocket,” he said. “I’m from New York. You figure, ‘That’s it, it’s gone.’ But they sent the money back.”

Add Tyson: Writes Wallace Matthews of Newsday: “Rumors persist that the real strings in Tyson’s life--the purse strings--are being pulled by the new Mrs. Tyson, actress Robin Givens. Previously, co-managers Jimmy Jacobs and Bill Cayton controlled every cent Tyson handled, but Tyson is said to have given much of that control to his wife. This week, Mrs. Tyson is back from Japan to put a $250,000 down payment on a $4.5-million home in a New Jersey suburb, to be bought in her name. And recently, Tyson bought his mother-in-law, Ruth Givens, a $65,000 BMW.”

Trivia Time: What do George Mikan, Jack Dolph, Mike Storen and Dave DeBusschere have in common? (Answer to follow.)

A number of readers have called to claim that Tami Mauriello should have been included in the list of boxers who knocked down Joe Louis.

Not so, but close. In their 1946 bout, Mauriello sent Louis into the ropes with a tremendous right to the head in the first round. Louis was rubber-legged, but he held on and then proceeded to knock out Mauriello in 2:09 of the same round.

An item in this space Thursday told about a hotel the New York Yankees were staying at in the obscure town of Punta Gorda in Florida, but Tom Verducci of Newsday calls it a roadside motel and said the Yankees are mystified why they are staying there.

Wrote Verducci: “One player had three roaches in his room, and a reporter was assigned to four rooms before one was acceptable. Jack Clark refused to stay there, checking out after staying an hour.

“The motel is excited about the Yankees’ stay, however. A man behind the front desk remarked, ‘It’s the biggest thing to hit Punta Gorda since they put in the traffic light.’ ”

Trivia Time: They were commissioners of the American Basketball Assn.

Quotebook

Marty Barrett of the Boston Red Sox, after watching presidential candidate Michael Dukakis take a turn in the batting cage at Winter Haven, Fla.: “I hope his campaign is better than his swing.”