Adult Children of Alcoholics Face Lifelong Scars

Hundreds of health professionals gathered in San Francisco to address the psychological traumas of people growing up in families where the primary emotions revolve around an alcoholic parent.

Issues and the lifelong scars resulting from such family ties were discussed by 2,000 participants in dozens of workshops at the nation’s largest conference on adult children of alcoholics. They ranged from eating disorders, compulsive spending, gambling and sexual abuse to self-esteem, intimacy and parenting.

Psychologist H. Stephen Glenn of Lexington, S.C., told the health professionals--many of whom come from alcoholic families--that they were “like pilgrims crossing a frontier,” with undue stress, guilt and obligations passed to them by another generation.

However, Glenn said, he believes the family unit is gaining strength that will help in solving some of the problems. He said the 1960s to the early ‘80s were the “darkest period” for American culture and the family.

Generation ‘Coming Back’

“But, I believe we’re coming out of it,” he said Monday. “The ‘we’ generation is coming back through networking, self-help and other ways that help us take charge of our environment.”

There are an estimated 22 million adult children of alcoholics in the United States and the number of support groups for them has grown rapidly to more than 500, Indiana University of Pennsylvania sociologist Robert Ackerman said.

“This movement is unique in that it’s the first group of adults raised in dysfunctional families to unite,” Ackerman said. “And it’s growing horizontally much faster than it is vertically. We’re getting a very broad base of people from other types of dysfunctional families who identify with the movement.”

Ackerman, who conducted the first national research study of adult children of alcoholics and authored the book, “Let Go and Grow,” said he used the findings to explore the specific characteristics of children who grew up in alcoholic settings. He then identified areas of concern and provides guidelines for recovery.

Problems faced by offspring of alcoholics, he said, include an inclination or possible hereditary disposition toward substance abuse; a fear of emotional intimacy, and feelings of resentment, anger or distrust. They are also more likely to marry someone who is addicted and may have trouble trusting themselves as parents.

Patricia O’Gorman, director of Counseling Center for Addictive Families of East Greenbush, N.Y., said that she worked with youths in the juvenile justice system and that the vast majority lived in a family with at least one alcoholic parent.

“I didn’t work with one kid who wasn’t severely depressed,” she said.

Victims and Caretakers

Two characteristics of these children, she said, were that they were victims of physical abuse in the family and often became caretakers of the alcoholic parent--a role-reversal that causes psychological effects on their adult lives.

One boy, she said, had a mother who was alcoholic and schizophrenic and a father who was a practicing physician living in a flophouse with a hot plate. The boy went to 11 foster homes and had trashed a school knowing he would be caught but needing to attract the attention of someone who would care about what he did.

O’Gorman said she had two alcoholic stepfathers, which was one of the reasons she could relate to the juveniles from families where substances were abused.

“Children of alcoholics have a very high level of tolerance for deviants,” she said. “It helps us to work with kids that the rest of the world has shunned.”

The National Council on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism estimates that there are 28 million children of alcoholics, 8 million of them under age 18. The organization says there are about 10 million problem drinkers over age 18 in the nation, while a 1985 Gallup Poll said one-fifth of Americans have a drinking problem.