BY THE NUMBERS

Understanding Agent-ese

When agents say ( They mean) : 1. “I read your script.” (“ My secretary read your script .”) 2. “I’ll get back to you tomorrow.” (“ I’ll get back to you next March. “) 3. “Paramount is very high on the project.” (“Paramount is the only studio that hasn’t rejected the project.”) 4. “Marty says you’re perfect for the part.” (“Marty owes me a favor and will let you audition for the part.”) 5. “We’ve decided to package your material.” (“It’s still on the shelf.”) 6. “We’re waiting for the best bid.” (“We’re waiting.”) 7. “I would have returned your call sooner but I’ve been tied up in meetings.” (“I would have returned your call sooner but there’s been no action on your material.” ) 8. “Let’s have lunch.” ( “Have a nice life. “)

SOURCE: John Blumenthal’s “Official Hollywood Handbook”