HIGH LIFE : Thumbing Through This Book of Rules
“A rule of thumb is a homemade recipe for making a guess,” writes Tom Parker in his book of compilations, “Rules of Thumb 2.”
“It is an easy-to-remember guide that falls somewhere between a mathematical formula and a shot in the dark.
“A rule of thumb is not a tool. Pull a good one out of your hat and--abracadabra--you turn information you have into information you need.”
“Frankly,” Parker writes, “I can’t say that all of these rules of thumb work. Some would be pretty hard to test. Consider these a treasury of private inventions that work for the people who sent them in.”
Sizing Up a Teacher: A teacher who complains that his or her students are all stupid is probably a poor teacher.
--Bruce Reznick, associate
professor of mathematics, Urbana, Ill.
Grabbing Grades: Grab as many good grades as possible early in the academic year. They’ll come in handy as the year wears on.
--Dean Sheridan, Downey, Calif.
Raising Your Hand: When a teacher needs someone to volunteer an answer, raise your hand at the same time as the class genius. If you time it right, neither of you will be picked.
--Sheridan
Answering an Essay Question: Answer an essay question as if you were talking to your parents.
--Sheridan
Taking a Multiple-Choice Test 1: 1. If you think long--you think wrong. 2. Nine out of 10 times, your first answer is the correct one. 3. When in doubt, pick answer C.
--Robert Hastings, master chief petty officer, U.S. Coast Guard
Taking a Multiple-Choice Test 2: When in doubt, pick D on a multiple-choice test.
--Cindy Watanabe, Honolulu
Correcting Your Instructor: When an instructor says, “Please correct me if I make a mistake,” do it once and only once.
--Sheridan
Using a Big Word: If you are writing something and you have to look up the definition of a word, you probably shouldn’t use it.
--Scott Parker, Beaumont, Tex.
Saying Things: If you find yourself thinking that something goes without saying. It is probably in the best interest of everyone involved to say it.
--William Krieger, English Department chairman, Gig Harbor, Wash.
The Nerd Rule: A nerd never knows he is a nerd.
--Paul Carter, ex-nerd,
New York City
“Any fool can make a rule.”
--Henry David Thoreau (1817-1862)