MOVIE REVIEW : ’18 Again’ Revives a Notion That Hasn’t Aged Gracefully

Remember those ads years ago trumpeting “the heartbreak of psoriasis?” Ad writers had a field day, painting it as a loathsome disease one was stuck with forever. Well, we’ve got a blight just as unslightly now on our movie screens, the switched-identity plot, and if feels as if we are never going to be rid of it , either.

In infinitesimal variations of the same tiny idea, movie fathers have gone off to high school, high-schoolers have invaded board rooms and the wrong person has been found on skateboards. Now in the relentlessly unfunny “18 Again” (citywide), George Burns turns up in the slight body of his 18-year-old grandson (Charlie Schlatter).

As directed with the heaviest of hands by newcomer Paul Flaherty from an impoverished screenplay by debuting feature writers Josh Goldstein and Jonathan Prince, it’s not likely to make fans of either 18- or 81-year-olds.

Burns is barely in the movie at all. Brought on to bookend the story fore and aft, he throws a few comments over his shoulder like acerbic punctuation and is gone. We’re left with a thoroughly pleasant young actor waggling a cigar and doing George Burns shtick for what seems like a very long time.

Nothing appears real or fresh, every character or story twist seems to have been copied down from some dim 12-inch television screen flickering away in an attic somewhere in 1952. Burns plays the still-active head of a Midwestern novelty-phone factory; Anita Morris has been cruelly directed as his gold-digging mistress; Tony Roberts is his put-upon son; Red Buttons is his oldest and best friend; Schlatter is his sweet but shy college-pledge grandson.

And absolutely nothing happens that might surprise us in any of this. (How dare the film makers have Morris reprise, breath by breath, Marilyn Monroe’s singing of “Happy Birthday to You.” Is nothing sacred?)

Since the picture is also garishly unattractive, with a TV-dreadful sort of look to it, it’s fortunate that Charlie Schlatter has the charm that he has, or things might have been really unendurable. It’s his first major role (the first minor one was only last week in “Bright Lights, Big City” as Michael J. Fox’s younger brother), and he gets by on self-effacement and a radiating warmth, particularly in his scenes with Burns or lovely Jennifer Runyon, the classmate on whom he has a crush.

However, this is very little to be thankful for as we doze fitfully and wait for ol’ Granddad to pop in again and wake us from our naps.

‘18 AGAIN’

A New World Pictures presentation of a Walter Coblenz Production. Producer Coblenz. Executive producers Irving Fein, Michael Jaffe. Associate producers Arthur Schaefer, Yvonne Ramond. Director Paul Flaherty. Screenplay John Goldstein and Jonathan Prince. Camera Stephen M. Katz. Music Billy Goldenberg. Editor Danford B. Greene. Production design Dena Roth. Sound Russell Williams. With George Burns, Charlie Schlatter, Tony Roberts, Anita Morris, Miriam Flynn, Jennifer Runyon, Red Buttons.

Running time: 1 hour, 40 minutes.

MPAA-rated: PG (parental guidance suggested).