VACATIONS AT HOME

“I need a vacation, but I can’t be away from home long.”

“I want to go away, but--yes, even now--I’m afraid to fly.”

“I’d like to go to a fancy resort, but I can’t afford the cost plus transportation.”

If these or other reasons are preventing Southern Californians from taking a longed-for vacation, they should rethink the problem. They’re in one of the major vacation capitals of the world. More than 16 million vacationers flock to Greater Los Angeles every summer for a sunny holiday on the Pacific Coast.

Here is a sampling of hotels and rates--some of them fantasy options--for vacations in the Southland. Prices shown do not reflect the range of accommodations or rates offered by each facility, so stay-at-home vacationers should inquire about other rates at these or other hotels of their choice.

Southern California hoteliers know what luxury is all about. There are, of course, hotels and hotels, but the ones we’re talking about shy away from conventions and look-alike accommodations. They understand the psychological value of pampering. They appreciate the notion of interspersing reality with fantasy. They know that money is less a concern in your life than time--and of time, there’s never enough.

Dream, for instance, of a weekend of high adventure, incredible pampering, wild shopping, great food, romance and even a little culture. It will cost you $18,000--that’s not a typographical error. But keep in mind that’s for two people and two nights.

More Than the Usual Treats

The hotel is the Biltmore in downtown Los Angeles. They start with all the usual amenities, but go one step farther: not just a limousine at your service, but the 1964 Daimler-Benz limo made for Queen Elizabeth; not just a concierge, but a personal butler, valet, maid, secretary, nanny (if needed) and stylist. You stay in the two-story presidential suite where cocktails the first night are to the accompaniment of a harpist and pianist.

But now: a shopping tour conducted by fashion designer Mr. Blackwell, a personal workout session, a complete beauty makeover (massage, facial, etc.), a chance to drive a Formula Ford racing car at Riverside Raceway International or, if you would rather, experience what it’s like to fly a jumbo jet in an $11.3-million simulator. That’s just during the day.

That evening, a helicopter ride over the city, followed by a romantic rooftop dinner, front-row seats at an event--musical, theatrical or sporting--of your choice and finally a chauffeured “club crawl” to L.A.’s trendiest night spots.

Sunday is slower; a VIP back-lot tour and lunch in the commissary at Universal Studios, then several hours relaxing at your private beach house in Malibu before being picked up by yacht for a sunset cruise down the coast to Marina del Rey and the return to real life.

For many people, that all may be too much. If the idea is simply to get away and collapse, to wallow in seclusion, then the best bet could be the San Ysidro Ranch in the Santa Ynez foothills east of Montecito. Yes, they have tennis, swimming, riding and a rather famous gourmet dining room, but the main idea here is calm and privacy.

Return to Nature

This is where you come to return to nature. There are 550 acres of green rolling hills and pine forests. You don’t stay in rooms or even suites, but in cottages, many with their own Jacuzzis.

No weekend packages are offered. The cottages with spas run $340 to $409 per night.

Also up Santa Barbara way is El Encanto, where the villas overlooking the Pacific somehow make you think of Tahiti and the south of France. Probably because the El Encanto has traditionally been a weekend getaway, the hotel has instituted a package for midweek lovers: $199 for romantic accommodations with a fireplace, dinner for two, including wine, and breakfast in bed, including champagne.

The Four Seasons Biltmore in Santa Barbara is offering what it bills as the “Ultimate Dining Experience.” This is a $1,000 dinner for two.

Chef’s Favorite Menu

Executive Chef Luis Claner talks the menu over with you beforehand, but this is one of his favorites: Dom Perignon and beluga caviar with buckwheat blinis to start, then heart of lobster mousse, truffles and crayfish served with a 1986 Far Niente Chardonnay; consomme of duck, fresh ginger and shallots confit; beef, lamb and veal medallions with three sauces accompanied by an asparagus, corn and fiddlehead crepe and a 1978 Sterling Reserve Cabernet Sauvignon; seasonal flower salad; a dessert involving chocolate and cherimoya served with Perrier Jouet’s Special Reserve rose champagne, and finally, espresso and truffles.

The occasion is photographed, a romantic poem is read and at the end there are a few little souvenirs--usually something like a silver key ring and picture frame.

One of the Santa Barbara area’s first great resort hotels, the Biltmore, which was taken over by Four Seasons Hotels Ltd. just last year, also has tennis, golf, swimming, beautiful grounds and large luxurious rooms and suites, not to mention the city of Santa Barbara itself.

The Sheraton Grande in downtown Los Angeles has a $299 two-night Gourmet Weekend package that is tailored for couples who like wining, dining and fine art--even couples with children. Besides the junior suite accommodations, a four-course dinner for two, champagne and chocolate-covered strawberries delivered upon arrival, the package includes limo service and admission to the Museum of Contemporary Art, complimentary baby-sitting and even a teddy bear for your youngster to take home.

Japanese Experience

At the New Otani, Japanese-style accommodations place you in a suite with shoji screens, a platform bed, a view of the hotel’s half-acre garden and a true Japanese bathroom complete with sunken tub. There’s a welcome cup of sake, dinner at A Thousand Cranes, a shiatsu massage (even if you don’t use the Sanway Health Spa), sauna and spa, breakfast (American or Japanese) and a yukata, the Japanese cotton robe to take home. All for $379 per night.

If money’s no object, you can almost always expect champagne in your room and lots of little toiletries in the bathroom. Visit the Ritz-Carlton in Newport Beach for its $2,500 night in the Presidential Suite and you’ll get Dom Perignon. That’s in addition to a dozen long-stemmed roses, an etched decanter and two glasses, two Ritz-Carlton monogrammed bathrobes, dinner in either the Club Grill & Bar or the Dining Room and round-trip limousine transportation from the Los Angeles or San Diego airport.

In other spots south of Los Angeles, there’s a certain emphasis on health and fitness in the weekend packages. The classic example is La Costa, just outside Carlsbad.

This is one of America’s great fitness resorts, and you’re missing a wonderful opportunity if you do not use these three days and two nights to pound, massage and exercise your body into shape.

The weekend package, which includes use of all the facilities plus a massage, facial and lots of other beautification, is $190 per person per night, double occupancy.

Other Fitness Options

At the Four Seasons and the Newporter Resort, both in Newport Beach, the gym and fitness pools are there--but somehow you don’t feel as guilty if you don’t use them.

The Four Seasons does have a fitness package, however: $478 for two nights in a petite suite, which includes a fitness breakfast daily, a picnic basket packed with gourmet delights for the beach, sailing or bicycling, beach towels and sun visors, plus use of the fitness facilities.

The Four Seasons, all quiet elegance with its abundant art, trees and fresh flowers, is just across the street from Fashion Island with its 120 deliciously pricey shops. The $385-per-night weekend package puts you in a suite and includes dinner (though not the wine) in the Pavilion and breakfast.

Mediterranean in feel with privileges at the John Wayne Tennis Club and a par-3 executive golf course, the Newporter Resort is 26 acres of lawns and shrubs bordering Newport Bay. The package here: three nights for $280 for a couple.

Midtown Luxury Spots

Of course there can be a problem with beach resort hotels: Everybody in the world flocks there during the summer weekends. Which is why some people like to stay in town, maybe in West Hollywood, Beverly Hills or Bel-Air--just a limo drive away from everywhere, yet so romantic that some guests check in on Friday and aren’t seen again until they check out Sunday afternoon.

The prime place for this is the Hotel Bel-Air. The Mediterranean-style rooms and suites are designed to be hideaways, the gardens are meant to be nature as art. All the amenities; no weekend packages; rates top out at $335 for a double and $1,300 for a suite.

When you think about it, what money really buys are the little things. For example, at the recently opened St. James’s Club in West Hollywood, there is a bathtub thermometer so you don’t scald yourself when plunging in, a pool attendant who plies fruit and ice water and sprays you with spritzes of Evian water to keep your skin moist while you sun.

Located in that classic Art Deco building, the Sunset Tower on Sunset Strip, the St. James’s is a private membership hotel with other established locations in London, Paris and Antigua. The club tariff, as they call it (they’re very British here), is $180 for a deluxe double, $280 for a suite, and $595 for a penthouse or townhouse.

If you’re not a member, temporary residential membership is available at $8 per day. Or you can join for $750, plus an annual fee of $750. Now, the facilities: pretty much everything, library, health spa, pool, access to private jet and helicopter.

Little and Big Things

The little things at L’Ermitage Hotel in Beverly Hills? Well, routine are the pool, spa, sun deck, daily newspaper at your door, overnight shoeshine, cable television, 24-hour in-suite service and evening turndown service.

But then there’s the hotel’s Weekend de Grand Classe, which for $650 per couple gets you two nights in a suite with fireplace, wet bar and balcony; limo service to and from Beverly Hills, a gift basket of fruit, wine and mineral water when you arrive and fresh strawberries with sour cream and brown sugar in your suite every afternoon; a five-course candlelight dinner in your suite served by your private captain and including a musical serenade; continental breakfast and valet parking.

Now all this may sound wonderful, but some people still may find it necessary to get away from the fertile, stress-filled ground of Southern California. For these people, a cruise.

Good food, luxurious accommodations, health club, pool, shopping, theater, casino and entertainment--all at sea. The ship is Norwegian Cruise Lines’ Southward, and it departs from San Pedro every Friday at 8 p.m., calling at Catalina Island and Ensenada before returning to Los Angeles at 8 a.m. Monday. Prices range from $345 to $735 for three days.

Biltmore Hotel, 506 S. Grand Ave., Los Angeles; (213) 624-1011.

Hotel Bel-Air, 701 Stone Canyon Road, Los Angeles; (213) 472-1211.

El Encanto, 1900 Lasuen Road, Santa Barbara; (805) 687-5000.

Four Seasons Biltmore, 1260 Channel Drive, Santa Barbara; (805) 969-2261.

Four Seasons Newport Beach, 690 Newport Center Drive; (714) 759-0808.

La Costa, Costa del Mar Road, Carlsbad; (619) 438-9111.

L’Ermitage, 9291 Burton Way, Beverly Hills; (213) 278-3344.

New Otani, 120 S. Los Angeles St., Los Angeles; (213) 629-1200.

Newporter Resort, 1107 Jamboree Road, Newport Beach; (714) 644-1700.

Ritz-Carlton, 33533 Ritz-Carlton Drive, Laguna Niguel; (714) 240-2000.

Sheraton Grande, 345 S. Figueroa St., Los Angeles; (213) 626-1700.

St. James’s Club, 8358 Sunset Blvd., Los Angeles; (213) 654-7100.

San Ysidro Ranch, 900 San Ysidro Lane, Montecito; (805) 969-5046.