Album Uncovers Maginot Line of Modesty
You never know what vulgar, dangerous things might turn up in, of all places, a record bin.
Take the human body.
In the hands of Michelangelo or Da Vinci, it’s art. Through the camera lens of a porno film king, it’s smut. And now, as it turns out, on the cover of a Prince album, it’s too hot to handle.
His Royal Shyness displays himself sans wardrobe on the jacket of his latest album, “Lovesexy.” Nothing really exposed, mind you (though there is a suggestively shaped flower there). Nevertheless, the ‘40s glamour-style photo sent a lot of record retailers away blushing and prompted some, including the Sam Goody’s chain, to stash it behind counters like, ahem, marital aids.
In stores even more sensitive, including such national chains as K mart and Target, the Erotic Epidermis Episode spurred choruses of “Just Say No” when the delivery trucks from Warner Bros. Records showed up at the back door.
David Lieberman, chairman of Lieberman Enterprises, supplier of records to several of the nation’s top department stores, said: “I think it’s an issue where our customer--the retailer--doesn’t want to do anything to offend the sensibility of their customer. The ones who have said no would rather miss those sales than take a chance that some child will bring it home or some parent will walk by, see it in the store and decide not to shop there any more.
“We’ve rarely had this large a group of accounts pass on a piece of product,” Lieberman noted.
This must be creating all sorts of extra pressure for teen-agers. Can’t you just see all the peach fuzz-faced adolescents around the country, forced to slip on their shades and wrap up in long overcoats before slinking up to the sales counter and furtively asking for the contraband?
I can only imagine the emotional scars for the faint of heart who chicken out halfway through the illicit affair: “Have you got a, uh, copy of the, ahh, new album by, um, P . . . Prrr . . . uh . . . PERCY FAITH!”
Prince is not the first rock star to show up au naturel. In 1968, on the original sleeve of their “Two Virgins” album, John Lennon and Yoko Ono tried to show the world they had nothing to hide. They ended up peering through a cutout hole in the infamous “brown paper bag” cover to soothe those who had seen their nakedness and were ashamed.
But that was full frontal nudity! Prince’s is closer to the lightly risque album covers of the past, the ones that made it comfortably by the watchful eyes of the Rock Police.
In their pre-Fleetwood Mac days, Lindsay Buckingham and Stevie Nicks posed nude from the waist up--Stevie with arms crossed to avoid giving umbrage.
Even demure folk nymph Judy Collins tastefully bared all--from the back--for the cover of one album in the late ‘70s.
It is hard to see where the Prince photo is anywhere near as titillating as all those Ohio Players albums in the ‘70s--like the one with the naked woman drenched in honey, or the one who was wrapped up in a fire hose.
Yet the reaction to those was nothing like what “Lovesexy” is getting.
To get an idea of where the Maginot line of modesty lies these days, earlier this week I visited a Target store in Santa Ana and a K mart in Costa Mesa where, true to reports, there were no copies of “Lovesexy” to be found.
Grotesquerie, however, is OK in the marts of Mr. K, at least as shown on the cover of Iron Maiden’s “Seventh Son of a Seventh Son” album. That masterpiece depicts a decomposing skeleton--no skin, just exposed muscle--missing half his skull and flames shooting from the brain cavity, while he holds in one hand what appears to be an embryo in its amniotic sac.
At Target, there were several copies of “Cover Girl,” a 1986 album by Phantom, Rocker & Slick boasting a nude-from-the-waist model--arms again crossed strategically--expressing shock as the parts of her swimsuit fly off in all directions.
At least Prince, on his album cover, appears to have surrendered his duds voluntarily. (There was some poetic justice, however--”Cover Girl” was languishing in the $1.99 bin, where it belongs.)
And that was just the record department. Take three steps over to K mart’s video rack and you can find such film classics as “Women Unchained,” which comes in a package showing a woman straddling a prison wall, her loose blouse open and bra exposed, a hunter’s knife in one hand a shotgun in the other, and her denim mini-skirt ripped up the front.
Thank God someone’s protecting us from the sleaze, ya know whut I mean, Vern?
There may be something to the comment from Warner Bros. Vice President Bob Merlis that “ . . . because it’s a guy on the cover--and the guy is Prince--people are getting excited.”
As Lieberman noted, “Unfortunately in our society, sex is less acceptable than violence. It’s a sad commentary.”
I’m certain that Prince meant no offense, master of good taste that he is. (Remember the orgasmic shower segment back-to-back with his dialogue-with-God scene on the “Purple Rain” tour?)
I’m just disappointed that the guardians of morality stopped where they did.
While flipping through the records, I ran across several covers that bruised my delicate nature.
What about--the squeamish should probably not read on--”The Best of Slim Whitman”? Anyone who yanks covers glamorizing this pencil-thin moustache that yodels will have provided a public service of inestimable proportions.
Prominently propped up in an end display was the new Poison album “Open Up and Say . . . Ahh!” whose cover features a satanic looking man-beast wagging out a devilishly long tongue that could decimate your Thrifty’s triple scoop at 20 paces.
But nothing came close to the horrific capper: “Barry,” the 1980 LP from Barry Manilow, picturing him in a shirt open to the waist.
C’mon--where are the Defenders of Decency when you really need them?
It’s hard to see where the Prince photo is anywhere near as titillating as some ‘70s album covers. Yet the reaction to those was nothing like what “Lovesexy” is getting.
