VIEWPOINTS : The Bitter Taste of a Job Lost : Laid-Off Banker Sees a Different Corporate World When He’s on the Outside Looking In

Over the last five years, nearly 30,000 jobs have been eliminated at California banks, forcing droves of bankers to look for new work. This column is by one of those bankers. Writing under the pseudonym David Heller, he describes the bitter experience of losing a job.

Dear middle and senior managers:

If you think you are about to lose your job through a merger, acquisition, streamlining or restructuring, or if your job is being eliminated because of foreign competition, deregulation, computer technology or some other fashionable phrase, be prepared: You are now about to become a social outcast.

I know from personal experience. After working nearly 15 years as an executive at one of the nation’s largest financial institutions, I learned that my job eventually would be eliminated through what was being called a restructuring. Later on, when my two weeks’ notice finally arrived, I launched the arduous search for a new job. During those last two weeks at the bank and over the subsequent months of job hunting, I was painfully aware of some dramatic changes in the way people treated me, in my self-image and in nearly every other aspect of my life.

What hit me right off was how so many people at work became unfriendly, even hostile. In some cases, basic cordiality went out the window. You’ll be rebuffed; in some cases it will feel like abandonment. A formal caste system will become very evident. The common ground of conversation is no longer there. In reality, having lost one’s job is a major loss of identity. In so many ways it is a loss of a sense of belonging.

After you’ve been told that you’ll be leaving the company, the first thought is, “Why me?” Soon that gives way to bitterness and hostility, followed by a desire for revenge, perhaps bordering on obsession. If you’re not careful, these thoughts can paralyze you. All this leads to great stress, with uncertainty turning into desperation. After all, if you’ve worked hard and you love your work, no matter what you’ve been told about why the job is being eliminated, there is that small doubt in the back of your mind that you’re a failure. And that can eat you up like nothing else.

There are financial issues, too. If you’ve lived up to your income level, your savings will last just so long. Meanwhile, your children may continue to need your help for years to come, and perhaps there are aging parents in need of support, too.

On top of that, there are day-to-day costs for car and home repairs (somehow car brakes, radiators and kitchen appliances all get the word that now is the best time to break down) as well as routine medical needs, to say nothing about what happens if a major illness hits in the family. All this results in a great big unknown hitting you around four every morning: Where the hell is the money going to come from?

You’ll also learn that your former office phone is now answered differently. They may use expressions like, “He can be reached at another number,” or, “We can get a message to him.” In some instances, when a caller asks how he can reach you, he may be told, “We don’t know,” when in reality they have your home or another office number. To tell a caller the new number is, in some corporate settings, acknowledging that they thought well enough of you to refer calls. That’s rarely done.

This non-person status also carries over to a broad range of institutional programs and issues, where so many people have somehow acquired instant amnesia. Their institutional memory of your role and place within the company is astonishingly fuzzy.

The same office behavior affects your mail, especially your personal mail. In many cases, it is left to accumulate for days and then is sent out in batches in a large envelope. When you open it, you’ll find invitations to events that already happened--sometimes envelopes marked “Personal and Confidential” asking whether there is any interest in a possible job interview with a request to get back to the sender ASAP. Sometimes there are invitations to major business meetings or conferences where your presence may have been helpful in your job hunting. Don’t call the office and scream. You’ll only reach a secretary who was following orders. Insensitive behavior is the norm.

Many good corporate friends become very estranged. It is a period when good people do bad things to other good people. It is a time when you see some “friends” for what they really are: “friends” only when you are on your way up the ladder and in a position to help them. A few examples of what happened to me:

- In elevators, the parking garage or along the street, when former so-called friends or colleagues saw me coming, they looked the other way or moved in another direction. Riding between floors with just one or two colleagues who know you’re going to leave soon can be a very painful experience. Snubbing becomes commonplace.

- I began to hear comments about people in the company who said things against me just to save their own hides. They apparently felt that they needed to assure management whose side they were on.

- Very stiff formal memos came to our home about routine severance matters, often from former colleagues who I once thought I was close to.

All these examples are not to denigrate those true friends one finds during these times who sincerely try to help, who write letters for you, make phone calls on your behalf or call you every other week or so just to see what may be new or how they can help. What is so wonderfully surprising during this period is how many people you hear from who you normally don’t come in contact with, or who you did a small favor for months or even years ago, asking how can they be helpful.

It seems that those you deal with on a daily basis can’t find the time to help or find it emotionally difficult to keep in touch, while others with whom you had less contact sincerely want to be as helpful as possible. The most helpful people often were in similar circumstances themselves at one time. Take heed and learn from them.

At the outset, when the bad news comes, one way to deal with it is to go off on a retreat, with yourself or strangers. Get a lot out of your system, especially the feelings of bitterness. Once that’s done, think ahead. Looking back does you no good. Don’t dwell on the 10 or 15 years you may have given the company. Loyalty, generally, is no longer important. In today’s business climate it is almost obsolete. While it is extremely difficult to hide your feelings, one must wear a public mask.

Think of how you can turn your strengths into an opportunity to revitalize yourself and your professionalism. There is indeed lots of life and activity outside of the corporate towers or corridors you were part of for so many years. Take some time to look at lots of things around you. New opportunities can be replenishing and very exciting.

In closing, let me offer one last piece of advice: Try to wake up each day with a positive attitude that, yes, today something good will happen. It often does.

Good luck,

David Heller

P.S. If you have any friends who think their jobs are safe, tell them to think again.