Magic, Isiah Friendship Takes Beating

The damnedest thing happened here Tuesday night. Isiah Thomas smacked Magic Johnson. Magic smacked Isiah back. And, I don’t mean on the cheeks. I don’t mean that adorable little pregame smooch of theirs. I don’t mean that mushy business in the jump-ball circle, where the two guys remind the whole world night after night: Magic Isiah, Isiah Magic.

I mean during the game, they actually got into it. Their first quarrel. Right there in front of everybody, an actual spat. Viewers who tuned in late must have thought CBS had a new prime-time soap. First, “Dallas.” Now, “Detroit.” Tonight’s episode: Magic and Isiah exchange kisses before a big basketball game, then get into a fight. Can they ever patch things up?

Kiss, kiss, bang, bang.

You have to understand something. Seeing Magic and Isiah clobbering one another is like seeing Wally belting the Beaver. Like seeing Minnie Mouse yank Mickey by the ears. These guys are like brothers. They are bosom buddies. Kissin’ cousins. If Isiah were an orphan, Magic would adopt him. They go on summer vacations together. They share hansom carriage rides in Central Park once a year. They are practically joined at the hip.

So, imagine how our eyeballs popped at the sight of Mr. Thomas taking a swing at Mr. Johnson in the fourth quarter of Game 4 of the National Basketball Assn. Finals. One minute we were watching the Lakers vs. the Pistons and the next minute we were watching Tyson vs. Spinks. HBO is busy lining up a Magic-Isiah undercard match for Atlantic City even as we speak.

OK, so it wasn’t that big a deal. There was no bloodshed. No broken noses. It wasn’t even a fistfight, to be perfectly honest. More like a slam dance.

And, you might as well be the first to know: All’s forgiven, all’s forgotten. At least that’s what Isiah and Magic were saying after the game. They’re still friends, they said. Still the NBA’s Bob and Bing. We’ll just put this thing behind us, they said, and move on to Thursday’s Game 5 here at Madison Square Silverdome. We’ll kiss and make up.

Won’t we?

“I’ll offer to kiss him,” Isiah said. “If he doesn’t want it, he doesn’t want it. I’m pretty sure our friendship won’t deteriorate.”

Well, Magic? What about it?

Will you turn the other cheek?

“Naw, I’ll kiss him,” Magic said.

Whew. Got that settled.

Here’s what prompted the temporary falling-out of two of basketball’s biggest stars: There were 7 1/2 minutes remaining in a game that Isiah’s Pistons were winning big over Magic’s Lakers. That’s all anybody ever does in this series--win big. For a league that’s only supposed to get interesting in the last two minutes, there sure have been a lot of mismatches lately.

Anyway, there went Thomas, toward the basket. There went Johnson, toward his little buddy. Bad back and all, Isiah was flying toward the hoop. Bad back or no bad back, Magic warned him not to trespass in there. He drew a line with the toe of his sneaker and dared Isiah to cross it. Isiah crossed it.

Pow, right in the kisser. Johnson’s elbow met Thomas’ jaw. After all that kissy face the two guys play before a game, this was like domestic violence.

“He’s going to do everything in his power to win a championship, and if that means pounding the . . . out of me, he’s going to pound the . . . out of me,” Isiah explained later.

Of course, it doesn’t mean he has to stand there and take it. The 6-foot 1-inch Thomas turned around and gave the 6-9 Johnson a forearm shiver. If the Detroit Lions ever hit somebody this hard in the Silverdome, they might have a winning season one of these years.

Well, you could have knocked over the crowd of 34,297 with a feather. What a sight, Isiah whacking Magic. What next--Gilligan punching the Skipper?

What happened next was even more amazing. Next time the Pistons came down to the same end of the court, Isiah had the ball again. Beep beep, coming through the same lane. Only, there was Magic, waiting for him like a thug in a dark alley. Magic, this was! The man who wouldn’t harm a fly. The Cabbage Patch doll of basketball.

Wham! No more Mr. Nice Guy! Magic let Isiah have it, knocking him to the floor. Bill Laimbeer, Isiah’s bodyguard, had to step between the two guys before anything else happened.

The rest of the game proceeded without incident, mostly because Magic had so many fouls by then, and Detroit had so many points by then, that little else mattered. Magic spent most of the rest of the night on the bench. Isiah went back to his own bench, where he and Rick Mahorn spent part of the night resting their aching backs by watching the game on their bellies, looking like a couple of seals.

In the Laker locker room, Magic said it was history. “It’s history until Thursday,” he said.

However: “If he comes in there again, I’m still gonna slam him. He’s gotta do what he’s gotta do, and I’ve gotta do what I’ve gotta do. If he comes through there again, we might both have to pay the price.”

After all, as Isiah said: “It’s not personal, it’s business. His main objective is to win the championship, and so’s mine. On the court, we’re not friends.”

They still kiss each other, but that’s it. No phone calls. No fraternizing. Not until after this thing’s over. Neither of them could remember ever having a fight like this before, but that’s basketball. When they play pickup ball with their third amigo, Mark Aguirre, sometimes Magic and Aguirre get into serious scraps, and Isiah said, “I usually have to play peacemaker.”

Mychal Thompson of the Lakers sure did enjoy this one. “Isiah came through the lane and said, ‘Get out of the way, bleep bleep, or I’ll kick your bleep.’ And Magic said: ‘Bring your little bleep over here and try.’ ” (Mychal actually used the words bleep, by the way. Isiah and Magic evidently did not.)

OK, come on, fellas. Bury the hatchet, and not in each other.