A Sampler of Bob Hope Quips on 10 Presidents

Thirty-nine men have taken the oath as President of the United States, and Bob Hope, 85, has lampooned 10 of them. Here’s a Hope sampler:

On Herbert Hoover: “. . . Isn’t this some theater! . . . I was just standing out in front watching the other acts when a lady rushed up to me and said, ‘Pardon me, young man, can you help me find the rest room?’ . . . And I said, ‘Yes, ma’am, it’s just around the corner’ . . . And she said, ‘Don’t give me any of that Hoover talk.’ ”

On Franklin D. Roosevelt: “I think I should apologize to our President for some of the things I’ve said on radio. Especially about Mrs. Roosevelt. Like when Churchill and Roosevelt were discussing campaign strategy, they talked about when to attack the enemy and how to keep Eleanor out of the cross fire.”

On Harry Truman: “Well, this campaign promises to be a hot battle. . . . Truman has announced he’s not going to leave the White House, and Dewey says he’s moving in. That’ll be a nice situation. . . . I can just see the towels in the White House bathroom . . . marked His and His.”

On Dwight Eisenhower: “The world will benefit by our President playing golf. . . . And the first time he played at Augusta we had a wonderful game. . . . He got up on the first tee and took a terrific swing at the ball and missed it. Threw himself out of bounds. Took another full swing at the ball and missed it again. There were two little ants sitting on the ground. And the one ant looked at the other and said, ‘Let’s get up on the ball before this guy kills us.’ ”

On John F. Kennedy: “Have you heard about President Kennedy saying we should all drink milk? Milk! Maybe he’s younger than we think, huh? Is he really Irish? The President served milk at a Cabinet meeting but it didn’t turn out well. They spent a half-hour just burping each other.”

On Lyndon Johnson: “President Johnson didn’t shake hands. He’d pull on your ears.”

On Richard Nixon: “Some conservatives feared Mr. Nixon lost his shirt in China, but that’s not true. Kissinger found the ticket and he’s going back for it.”

On Gerald Ford: “I don’t mind playing golf with Jerry Ford because you don’t have to keep score. You just look back along the fairways and count the wounded.”

On Jimmy Carter: “It’s great to be here in Washington. It looks beautiful this time of the year with all the peanut trees in bloom. And I’m really enjoying all the sights here in Washington. Billy Carter took me over to see the Lincoln Memorial today. And we both looked at it for a few minutes and then he said, ‘He sure was big, wasn’t he?’ ”

On Ronald Reagan: “You have to realize what a kick it is to sit in the presidential box with Ronald Reagan. When we first walked into that box, there were only two chairs in there. One was marked No. 1 American. The other one, Washed-Up Actor. Boy, did we fight over those.”