Nonsmokers Gather Upwind

No ifs, ands or butts about it--Ed cannot stand to be within sniffing distance of a cigarette smoker and that’s final.

“There are two kinds of people in the world--those who smoke, and those who don’t smoke,” said the 45-year-old psychologist, a man of definite opinions. “I am associated with the latter.”

In just about every other area, Ed said, he could meet his match halfway: religion, race, age, hobbies. But when it comes to smoking, he draws the line.

“If I’m looking at a woman whom I find attractive and she pulls out a cigarette, my interest evaporates instantly,” he said. “It is an immediate turn-off.”

So Ed, a widower, hangs out at Bentley’s Tavern in Huntington Beach on Saturday evenings.

The popular, lively discotheque may seem an incompatible setting for a dyed-in-the-wool nonsmoker. Four hours a week, however, the loft above Bentley’s crowded dance floor provides an oasis for the likes of Ed. The ashtrays are sparklingly empty, the air is relatively smoke-free and the median age is somewhat higher than the 25ish average in the room below.

Non Smoking Singles of America--a branch of the Meeting Connection, an Orange County-based singles organization--congregates at the disco from 6 to 10 p.m. every Saturday.

“Our name makes us sound like a political group that’s trying to outlaw smoking,” said Bruce Gleason, 33, who founded the Meeting Connection. “But our function is purely social. We don’t mind if other people smoke, just so long as they don’t exhale.”

At a recent NSSA gathering, an even mix of about 50 men and women dropped in to mingle with fellow nonsmokers. Some were vehement about their disdain of the tobacco habit; others simply viewed the club as another way to meet singles.

“I didn’t come here for the oxygen--I can get that outside,” said Art, 42, an engineer in Orange. “The nonsmoking aspect (of the club) is neither here nor there.”

“I wouldn’t rule someone out just because he smoked,” said Orange resident Roberta Barnard, 48, an interior designer. “My only demand would be that he couldn’t smoke in my bedroom.”

“Dating a nonsmoker is more of a preference for me than it is a hard and fast rule,” said Roland Ramirez, 30, a contract administrator in Huntington Beach. “When you go out with nonsmokers, you spend less money on dry cleaning to get the smell of smoke out of your clothes.”

But for the most part, NSSA participants expressed scant affection toward the opposing team.

As a “reformed smoker,” Newport Beach resident Sharon Morgan Chandler accepts no excuses for the indulgence. “I was a heavy smoker until 11 years ago, when I went to the Schick Center (for the Control of Smoking and Weight),” said the 40-year-old advertising director. “I know for a fact that the money smokers spend on cigarettes they can spend on a program to quit smoking.”

Some of Chandler’s best friends are smokers, she added. “I’m tolerant. I would not preclude going out with a smoker, but I’d hope that he would quit.

“I’d tell him, ‘If there’s something about me that annoys you, I’ll stop doing it if you’ll stop smoking.’ You have to make compromises in a relationship. But I wouldn’t marry a man who smokes.”

Pete, 41, a real estate salesman in Los Alamitos, offered a rather basic reason that he does not date smokers: “I don’t like kissing them.”

“I’m increasingly intolerant about smoking,” Pete said. “Part of it is age--I’m less adaptable than I used to be. Part of it is that it has become socially acceptable to object to smoking. And part of it is that new facts on the dangers of smoking keep coming out.

“Why enter into a lifetime relationship with someone who is not going to live a long life?”

Huntington Beach resident Katie, 38, also said the health hazards of smoking deter her from becoming involved with a smoker.

“I work as a registered nurse in a maternity ward, so I am very aware of the problems that smoking causes,” she said. “I see a lot of babies born prematurely and underweight because their mothers smoked while pregnant. And my father died of throat cancer when he was only 66, after years of smoking.

“It seems to me that smokers don’t think very highly of themselves. Why else would they continue smoking, even with all the information that’s out?”

“What is a smoker’s self-image?” concurred Basil, 46, an engineer in Irvine. “Is there a death wish there? Are they trying to punish themselves for something?

“Of course, I’m one to talk about unhealthy vices, sitting here drinking wine. But I drink only in moderation. And the difference between alcohol and cigarettes is that when I drink a glass of wine, the person sitting next to me doesn’t have to breathe it.”

Would he reject a smoker out of hand, even if she were the woman of his dreams? “I probably wouldn’t get to know a smoker well enough to fall in love with her in the first place,” he answered.

Down below the NSSA nest, three miniskirted young women sat around a table, chatting and smoking away. “My boyfriend doesn’t care that I smoke,” said Natalie, 23, a secretary in Costa Mesa. “I’ll quit when I’m 30.”

“It doesn’t bother me that other people don’t smoke. I don’t see why it should bother them that I do,” said Huntington Beach resident Beth, 24, a sales representative.

“I’m sick of this new self-righteous attitude about smoking,” said Bruce, 29, an accountant in Fullerton, as he lit a cigarette at the bar. “I wouldn’t want to date somebody who is intolerant of my choice of life style any more than she’d want to date me.”

Non Smoking Singles of America, for ages 21 through 55, meets every Saturday, 6 to 10 p.m., at Bentley’s Tavern, 7979 Center Ave., Huntington Beach. Cover charge is $2 for members of the Meeting Connection, $6 for non-members. For information, call (714) 846-8440.

Busy, Busy, Busy

Ever notice how difficult it can be to schedule a simple dinner date with a friend? Why is everybody so darned busy? Do us a favor. Look through your date book and find a typical week of events, from business meetings to social dinners, to exercise classes. Jot down your many goings-on, with times and places, and send your schedule to us.

Heavy Petting

Do you fit the classic stereotype of the single woman who shares (to the extent that cats “share”) an apartment with her two beloved tabbies? And men, do you come home at night to a pair of tail-wagging Labrador retrievers, like a real bachelor should? What do you think of your girlfriend’s haughty feline, or your boyfriend’s obnoxious mutt? Here is your chance to brag on your best friend--be it a kitten, a collie or a cockatoo--and to air a few pet peeves about your least-favorite creatures.

Do Opposite Parties Attract?

Would you consider an interparty relationship? Republicans, could you fall for someone who still has an Anderson in ’80 bumper stick plastered on their VW bug? Democrats, would you follow to the end of the earth a BMW decorated with an Ollie For President slogan? Let us know how you vote on the issue?

Send your comments to Single Life, Orange County Life, The Times, 1375 Sunflower Ave., Costa Mesa, Calif. 92626. Please include a phone number so that a reporter may contact you. To protect your privacy, Single Life will withhold correspondents’ last names.