Future Hopes Hang on Hanging Up Her G-String

Miss Nude Western Canada, fully clothed, stopped by to discuss her art and her future. She’s visiting her mother in Leucadia.

Her given name is Kerrie McColman, she dances (read strips) as Nikki Kruze, and she lists her age as 25.

She posed for playing cards and calendars, did a rock video with Motley Crue, and played a role in a Canadian Health Department film about food poisoning. She’s also in Cheri magazine.

At Large: For purposes of identification, do you have any other titles besides Miss Nude Western Canada?

Miss Nude: “Yes, I was Miss Nude Manitoba ‘88, Miss Nude Burlesque ‘88, Miss Nude Tease Entertainer ‘86-87-88, Miss Nude Edmonton ’88 and first runner-up Miss Nude Canada.”

AL: Sources indicate there are lots of attractive dancers in Western Canada. What makes you the best?

MN: “Talent. Plus I have fun at what I do. I come out dressed in a little-girl outfit and sing ‘Let’s Talk Dirty With the Animals.’ ”

AL: Is there any chance of bringing your act to San Diego?

MN: “I don’t think so. Even with the free-trade agreement, I couldn’t get a work permit. The American government doesn’t consider exotic dancing a ‘necessary skill.’ ”

AL: Pity.

MN: “Not really. Exotic dancers are more respected in Canada. I went to Dirty Dan’s (in San Diego) and was amazed. My grandmother (who serves as her manager-chaperon) wouldn’t want me to work in a place like that. The burlesque houses in Canada are much nicer.”

AL: I imagine that dancers have brief careers, like athletes.

MN: “Exactly. I’ve been doing five shows a day, six days a week for five years. It’s tiring. At 25, it’s almost time for me to hang up my G-string and get into a different line of work.”

AL: Oh?

MN: “Sure, I’ll still do some dancing, like two weeks a year when I give my check and tips to Santas Anonymous in Alberta so they can buy toys. But I’ve already decided to get into a new profession with more opportunity.”

AL: What?

MN: “Real estate.”

Keeping a Leg Up on Fido

The latest wrinkle in reuniting owners with their lost pets is the electronic dog tag--a tiny microchip that can be injected between the shoulders of the family pet.

When read by a special scanner, the chip reveals Fido’s registration number. A call to a national animal hot line provides the owner’s name and phone number.

The county Animal Control Department and Humane Society branches in Escondido and Oceanside already have the scanners, and tomorrow the Animal Emergency Clinic in Poway will unveil its own scanner.

Beef Over Rain Forests

At least one tour bus driver at the San Diego Zoo makes sure to stress two points at the new Tiger River exhibit, a full-blown, three-acre tropical rain forest complete with exotic plants and animals:

First, that the exhibit was built largely with a donation ($3.3 million) from Joan Kroc, the widow of McDonald’s restaurant chain founder Ray Kroc and still the company’s largest shareholder.

Second, that the biggest threat to the world’s rain forests comes from cattle barons in South America who are clearing away forest land to raise cattle for American fast-food restaurant chains.

The driver leaves it at that and makes no editorial comment--although he has left a number of zoo visitors puzzling over the implications.

So where does McDonald’s come in? Is there irony in the ersatz jungle? Is the zoo biting the hand that feeds it?

Answers: It doesn’t, no, and no.

Kevin Thompson, managing editor of Meat & Poultry magazine, says his research found that McDonald’s is not among the U. S. companies buying South American beef. His expose on the topic, “The Beef Over Rain Forests: Are U. S. Imports of Cheap Beef Helping to Destroy an Irreplaceable Resource?” is in the December edition.