Nothing in Carolina Was Finer

--Thaddeus Armie Eure is going to be a tough act to follow. North Carolina’s secretary of state is retiring today after a 52-year career that spanned the administrations of 12 governors and nine presidents. The 89-year-old Democrat was first elected in 1936, when he ran on the campaign slogan, “Give a young man a chance.” “He is the essence of North Carolina--its symbol,” said Rufus Edmisten, a Democrat elected to succeed Eure. “Governors come and go, but Mr. Thad has remained. He has been North Carolina.” State officials will sport red bow ties--one of the flamboyant secretary’s many trademarks--at a ceremony in Raleigh honoring the nation’s longest-serving state official. Said Edmisten: “It’s like succeeding an institution. Every time I touch something that’s been his, it’s like I’m on hallowed ground. . . . I know I won’t hold this office 52 years. I probably won’t even live another 52 years.”

--Vice President-elect Dan Quayle has been awarded the 1988 Medal of Mediocrity by the Millard Fillmore Society. The Cascade, Colo.-based group was named for the nation’s 13th President and one of its most obscure. Vice President Fillmore succeeded Zachary Taylor, who died of cholera after eating cherries and milk while laying the cornerstone of the Washington monument in 1850. “Dan Quayle is the most mediocre vice presidential pick since Spiro T. Agnew and Millard Fillmore,” said society vice president Phil Arkow, in bestowing the society’s highest honor. “He’s living proof that mistakes do happen, and that even a lemon can capture the limelight.” Quayle claimed the award over some tough competition: White House astrologer Joan Quigley, television personality Geraldo Rivera and Nancy Reagan’s closet. Noting the circumstances under which Fillmore ascended to the nation’s highest office, Arkow said: “We wish George Bush a long life and much good health.”

--One of Hollywood’s most headline-grabbing couples is calling it quits after 3 1/2 stormy years of marriage. Singer Madonna, citing irreconcilable differences with actor Sean Penn, filed divorce papers in a Los Angeles court, a spokeswoman for the singer confirmed. Their on-again-off-again marriage began Sept. 16, 1985, amid the buzz of press helicopters that swarmed the Malibu bluff overlooking the Pacific Ocean where the wedding ceremony was held. In December, 1987, Madonna filed for divorce in Santa Monica, also citing irreconcilable differences, but the couple reunited 13 days later. A spokeswoman for Madonna, 30, said no further details would be released on the latest court filing. A spokeswoman for Penn, 28, could not be reached for comment.