STAGE REVIEW : ‘Romance / Romance’: Twice Doesn’t Do It

“Romance/Romance.” They make you say it twice. Once doesn’t do it.

Twice doesn’t do it, either.

There’s no substance to this innocuous little musical by Keith Herrmann and Barry Harman (the alliteration is strictly coincidental) that opened Thursday at the Old Globe. Repeating the word Romance even a dozen times won’t give it weight. The questions one is left with when all is sung and danced are: What did New Yorkers see in this much-ballyhooed piffle, and why is it showing up here?

“Romance/Romance” pays only the crudest lip service to the real thing. Bland/Bland is more like it. Commercial/Commercial, even Cynical/Cynical. It is the kind of show that screams “cheap ‘n’ easy to tour,” which it will probably do--for years--since it is also guaranteed to offend no one and please all who like their theater cute. But a contender for the big leagues? Not a chance--despite assorted Tony nominations and other New York awards.

(Was Broadway in such dire straits that year or what were those New Yorkers thinking of?)

Consider the formula. Harman and Herrmann poached from two fin de siecle writers, one Viennese and one French. They dipped into Arthur Schnitzler mit Schlag and called the result “The Little Comedy” (Act I). They then updated Jules Renard’s boulevard comedy “Pain de Menage” into an upscale yuppie world, moving it to the Hamptons in the ‘80s and calling it “Summer Share” (Act II).

So far, so good. There are even touches of irony here and there, and a funny Act I song called “A Country Inn,” letting on that Harman and Herrmann are not as unsophisticated as they seem. But why surround both halves with forgettable music (Herrmann) and sugary lyrics (Harman)? And why augment each play with shadowy alter-egos (Act I) and background spouses (Act II), loosing the fruits of this toil on stage like so many empty calories?

One can’t say the Globe staging missed the show by a mile, since it’s directed by Harman himself and, in all but three respects, is a New York import. Everyone connected with it has come direct from Broadway, except for musical director Steven Smith, designer Steven Rubin (whose airy, elegant sets look ready to travel) and the cast (Robert Yacko, Marietta DePrima, John DeLuca, Teresa DeZarn--is alliteration a “thing” with this show?).

The casting seems less than ideal. DePrima and Yacko (who made a lasting impression in the landmark Long Beach Civic Light Opera production of “Sunday in the Park With George” two years ago) carry most of the show, with DeLuca and DeZarn supplying support and no one entirely comfortable with any of it.

Yacko navigates well enough through Schnitzler’s tale of two bored members of the idle rich who entertain themselves by pretending to be penniless, fall in love and must confess to being wealthy. But he seems lost as “Summer Share’s” simpering Sam trying to have an affair with his best friend’s tease of a wife (DePrima), while torturing her, himself--and us--with doubt and guilt. Lighten up, Sam.

DePrima is more at ease all around, despite a quirky vocal affectation that, whether it is or not, feels coy and wears thin.

De Zarn and DeLuca, virtually superfluous in Act I (not their problem), become engaging in Act II as they maintain a background running commentary as the much more sensible wife and husband about to be to cuckolded.

Vocally, all four performers are strong though badly over-miked. Pamela Sousa’s choreography is dull, the dancing passable and Harman’s direction predictable and cliched. The Globe’s own shows heel to more rigorous standards. Given the strength of this theater’s choices last year, let’s hope this silly sentimental bauble is nothing more than a temporary glitch.

At the Simon Edison Centre for the Performing Arts in Balboa Park, Tuesdays through Saturdays, 8 p.m.; Sundays, 7 p.m., with matinees Saturdays and Sundays at 2. Ends Feb. 19. Tickets: $18-$27.50; (619) 239-2255).