Tips on Ready-to-Assemble Furniture
Three little letters--RTA--are enough to give do-it-yourself phobics a good case of the vapors.
RTA translates into ready to assemble. But sometimes it seems as if parts only become a chair or a chest of drawers for those who move smartly in the world of Allen wrenches, miter boxes and cotter pins. These “handy” people whiz through RTA projects with the speed of a chain saw. No crooked angles for them. No panic if a part fits only one way; they know the right way by instinct.
The problem for the rest of us is comparable to deciphering programming instructions for some of the older VCRs or understanding how to use that $200 word-processing program for your home computer: The writers assume you know as much about the specialty as they do. And often it seems the instructions were originally in Sanskrit and lost something essential in the translation.
All this didn’t matter a heck of a lot until a few years ago when KD (also known as knock down) grew up. KD furniture used to look just the way it sounds--something cheap that you “put together” until you could afford the real thing. But now RTA is one of the fastest-growing segments of the furniture industry. Today, it seems that everything--from Adirondack chairs to microwave carts--must be assembled.
What if you belong to that breed of consumers who can’t tell a flange from a flapper ball? What if your close encounters with tools are limited to hanging a picture on the wall and tightening a screw on the TV stand?
Even the die-hard anti-constructionist may someday crave an item that comes only in parts. Keeping this in mind, we went to the experts to give us advice, a kind of a “Klutz’s Guide to RTA.”
“It’s very important to have the right attitude,” says Skye Harper, furniture manager of the Baltimore Branch of IKEA, one of the best-known RTA retail companies worldwide with 79 stores in 19 countries. “It’s kind of like putting a puzzle together. If you go into the project thinking it’s fun instead of ‘I’ve got this job to do,’ you will do fine. If you are not mechanically inclined, just relax. As long as you don’t put any time restraints on the project, anything can be built by anybody.”
Attitude may be a major part of this battle, but Ms. Harper is a pro. She has built countless rooms of furniture at home and on the job. Those of us who could never pass a tool and home repair literacy test may need some additional help from Steve Ettlinger, co-author with Tom Philbin of “The Complete Illustrated Guide to Everything Sold in Hardware Stores” (MacMillian Publishing Co., $24.95).
“I got fed up with asking for a whachamacallit and thingamajig in a hardware store,” he said in a telephone interview from his New York City office. “I would try to explain what it was with elaborate descriptions and hand waving, and they never knew what I was talking about.”
Even if he had a name for the tool, the sales clerk wouldn’t be familiar with the tool by that name or would invariably come back with questions in response to his questions. Since he couldn’t find a resource book to help him, he wrote his own.
“I always thought of my book as a Berlitz phrase book to help people with the foreign language they speak in hardware and home centers,” he said.
In fact, the book assumes zero knowledge. He even included precise definitions of a screw vs. a bolt after a friend he describes as a “quintessential New York City apartment dweller” said she could never remember which was which. The book offers illustrations for some of the more puzzling items, and Ettlinger says he plans to include even more illustrations for the next edition.
Harper and Ettlinger agreed to give solutions for the most common RTA phobias:
* Phobia 1: The fear of missing parts and disappearing diagrams.
If you are buying the RTA furniture in a store, open the package and check to make sure all the necessary parts and diagrams are in the box. Call the mail-order company or retailer for any missing parts before you begin building. Do a second inventory check right before you are ready to begin. It’s a good idea to line up all the parts in the order they are to be used.
* Phobia 2: The fear of improper translation of instructions.
At IKEA, the instructions are in step-by-step illustrations. Other companies give written instructions, which may use some of the mysterious code words. If you don’t understand the illustrations or written instructions, call the company’s customer-service department and ask someone to walk you through them. In fact, novices may want to buy only from those companies that offer this kind of walk-through service. Or, if you have a friend who is used to putting things together, ask for some advice.
* Phobia 3: The fear of building alone.
Some of these items should carry a warning label--Caution: Assembling this product alone can be hazardous to your health. If you have ever tried to glue drawers or nail the back on a bookcase alone, you are likely to have experienced the contortionist twists that wind up making chiropractors rich. Even the pros suggest that some items need to be done by pairs. A partner is advisable if the item needs to be glued and you don’t have a workshop full of clamps, or if it is unwieldly and needs to be lifted after assembly. Again, studying the instructions thoroughly should tip you off so you know whether to invite a pal over for a building party.
* Phobia 4: The fear of lopsided furniture.
Many of the instructions do not make the remedy to this fear clear, but the pros say you should attach all screws and bolts lightly at first to hold the furniture together. When everything is in place, then go back and tighten. The furniture will settle in a week or two; go back and give the fasteners another few twists.
* Phobia 5: The fear of hammer damage.
Soft woods such as pine, a popular material for RTA these days, can be ruined with indentation marks if you use a traditional hammer. Use a rubber mallet or wrap the traditional tool in a heavy cloth before hammering.
If all else fails, sign up for a night school course on home repair.
