TRAVELING in style : LOST AT SEA : ‘One of the biggest problems we have is that not everyone really knows where we are.’ But once you’re there, Bermuda offers memorable holidays.

For once the promotion of a travel destination isn’t simply an exercise in hyperbole. On the tranquil, sun-kissed British archipelago called Bermuda, extravagant descriptions are justified. The sands are powdery pink, the water is turquoise and the gardens are brilliantly manicured. And yes, Mark Twain really did write: “Americans on their way to heaven call at Bermuda and think they’ve arrived.”

Trips to heaven notwithstanding, the first thing one should know about Bermuda is that speed is not of the essence. About the only fast things in Britain’s Atlantic colony are the few jets that arrive at and depart from the airport in Hamilton.

Everything else runs at the appropriate unhurried pace: relaxed. In Bermuda the quality of life is not measured by income or social status as much as it is by how much you can enjoy yourself without the often-regimented distractions found at resort destinations.

If you’re looking for frenetic discos or a singles scene, you’ve come to the wrong place. If your search encompasses a passion for a place where the locals like visitors and where you can quickly become a part of the feeling of community, history and a measurable amount of style, Bermuda is an excellent choice.

That is, of course, if you know where Bermuda is. “One of the biggest problems we have,” says the Hon. John W. Swan, Bermuda’s premier, “is that not everyone really knows where we are. People often think we’re in the Caribbean. Wrong. We’re out in the Atlantic Ocean by ourselves, almost as if we shouldn’t be there, a product of a volcanic condition surrounded by coral. In a way, I’m glad that not everyone knows where we are.”

Bermuda is 600 miles off North Carolina in the Western Atlantic, a tolerable two-hour flight from several East Coast U.S. airports. And Bermuda is not an appendage of the Bahamas (another common geographical mistake made by tourists). It’s closer to New York than to Nassau. Often thought of as one island, Bermuda is actually almost 150, 20 of which are inhabited. The seven largest are connected by bridges and causeways and boast a decidedly British heritage: places with such names as Devonshire, Southampton and St. George. The capital of Hamilton, in Pembroke Parish, is quite small and tranquil, even during rush hour.

“Bermuda’s ideal,” one visitor says, “because your adjustment to it happens so quickly.”

It did for Adm. Sir George Somers and his crew of 150. His trip to Bermuda, like that of so many other early visitors, was accidental. In 1609 Somers and company were shipwrecked there while en route to Jamestown, Va. They soon discovered that the ship’s loss was their gain. They stayed and claimed the area for Britain.

Since then Bermuda has become a model of British civility. There’s cricket and soccer and afternoon tea. Today the self-governing colony boasts eight golf courses and more than 100 tennis courts. There’s reef and deep-sea fishing. Refreshingly, the strongest tie to the United States is the U. S. dollar, which remains on a par with the Bermudan dollar. And to make matters better, there is no sales tax.

That’s good news for U. S. travelers. In Hamilton, Front Street is also good news. It is a mild--not wild--conglomeration of perfume, clothing and souvenir shops, offering much lower prices on many designer goods than the same items cost in the United States.

Most perfumes are priced 30% to 40% cheaper than in the United States. Then there are the sweaters. For reasons no one has bothered to explain, beautiful 100%-wool and 100%-cotton sweaters are sold for as little as $12. (Which brings up the subject of extra luggage. I bought so many gift sweaters that I had to buy an extra bag. Even the designer duffel was $65 less than it sold for in the United States.)

Perhaps the best things about Front Street are the second-floor English pubs--their terraces, in the early afternoon, great places to sit and have lunch and people-watch; or in the late afternoon to drink and people-watch, as you help the owners and the locals maintain the fine traditions of Bermudan happy hours.

It’s easy to discern that little if anything has changed in Bermuda over the centuries. (One concession to technology: Satellite TV dishes abound, so relax if you really can’t miss “Wheel of Fortune” or your favorite U.S. sports team). But you won’t see neon signs. All forms of outdoor advertising are discouraged.

For years Bermuda enjoyed limited air service. Most visitors reached it by cruise ships. Today several airlines offer frequent service (Pan Am, Eastern, Delta, American and British Airways). And the cruise ship business has soared; in 1987, Bermuda welcomed nine cruise lines with a record 190 separate cruise-ship arrivals.

Although Bermuda has long been a favorite destination among older vacationers, the demographics have changed dramatically. Now 50% of the 500,000 people who visit each year are younger than 40.

Dining used to be dull, with visitors forced to endure a centuries-old tradition of bad British cuisine. That also has changed. Food ranges from simple and traditional British pub fare to a true gourmet experience at Fourways Inn. In an enchanting 18th-Century Georgian mansion, proprietor Walter Somer offers the best menu in town. (My advice: No matter what else you order, leave plenty of room for the chef’s garlic bread, the best I’ve ever had). Fourways’ wine list is superb. Somer also operates Bermuda’s best bakery and has recently expanded Fourways to include five luxury guest cottages that surround a secluded pool.

There are a number of excellent hotels on the island, including such large resorts as the Southampton Princess (with a great golf course) and the Sonesta Beach Hotel (with a terrific secluded beach).

But Bermuda has distinguished itself with a host of small cottage colonies and guest houses that dot the island--combination bed-and-breakfast resorts that add the proper British touch to a vacation experience. Places such as the Pompano Beach Club and Cambridge Beaches offer private cottages on large acreages. They are expensive and fill up quickly in peak season, March through November, with longtime repeat guests. (At Cambridge Beaches on an old wooden sign the names of repeat guests are inscribed, including a handful of 40-year veterans who visit each year).

Accommodations as low as $22.50 a night (per person, double occupancy) are provided at guest houses such as Pretty Penny and Serenity. Almost all have ocean views, and the hosts and hostesses are very good storytellers.

Perhaps the best historians in Bermuda are its taxi drivers. There are 600 licensed taxis, and more than 3,000 cabbies. Virtually one of every 20 Bermudans is a licensed cabbie. They all fancy themselves to be storytellers. “I’ve seen the island go from upper class to middle class,” says cab driver and tour guide Vince Cann, 49.

“I’ve also seen Bermuda become popular as a year-round destination. For those of us who live here, it couldn’t be better. There’s no unemployment, no illiteracy, no income tax, and only one poor person: me,” he says with a grin.

By law, no family in Bermuda has more than one car. “It’s not a status thing,” Cann explains. “We keep our cars six, seven years until the rust and salt take them. There’s no such thing here as a used-car dealer.”

You can also forget about renting a car. Instead, there are hundreds of mopeds for hire. It’s an excellent way to see Bermuda, and you can easily ride a moped along a 21-mile-long Railway Trail that stretches from Sandys Parish (at the island’s western end) to St. George’s, on the eastern extremity.

My advice: If you’re traveling with someone, it’s more expensive, but safer, to rent two mopeds. “We learned our lesson last year,” says Phil Phillips, who owns a paint-and-wallpaper store in Birmingham, Mich. and is now a frequent Bermuda vacationer at the Royal Heights cottage colony. “My wife and I nearly died trying to balance ourselves on one. Then,” he adds, “there’s the small problem of driving on the left-hand side.” More often than not, the only Americans who have bad travel experiences in Bermuda are the ones who forget that very important detail. “We don’t have too many bad accidents,” Cann reports, “but we do have a lot of scrapes. We prefer to call them cases of Bermuda Road Rash.”

At night, the evening air is close to magical. In natural stereo, thousands of tree frogs perform their staccato, high-pitched songs for the moon, which, when full, lights up the island, the church steeples and the dunes. A constant, soothing breeze flows in and around everything and everyone.

The morning dawned sunny and warm, and the early heat unleashed the powerful scents of hibiscus and oleander. At Spicelands, a small stable of horses, my ride was waiting. His name was Hacksaw, which seemed an improbable name for a horse in Bermuda, but he was an understanding animal. He actually liked these early morning walks to the beach. On the way, he soon made it clear to me that if he could eat the abundance of shrubbery that bordered the narrow trail, I would have a very pleasant morning. I loosened the reins and let Hacksaw set the pace.

We moved out slowly in a group of 12 riders, headed for a number of deserted coves and unblemished beaches. From the perspective of a slow horse ride, one begins to appreciate that the true beauty of Bermuda is that while it has indeed been discovered, it has not been destroyed by armies of tourists armed with six-packs.

And no one seems to appreciate that more than the premier himself. “We’re not just committed to the perception of value, but value itself,” Swan says. “We also are committed to the maintenance of our own values.

“We have no pollution, and there is no problem of overbuilding. Since 1972, we’ve had a moratorium on hotel building that we restated last year. There will be no additional growth through 1993. We’ve held the line.”

Not only has Bermuda regulated its hotel building, but it also keeps a sharp watch for arrivals by sea. Concerned about its ability to handle large crowds, Bermuda limits the number of cruise ships that can visit--no more than two can be in the port at Hamilton at any one time. This year, 10,000 fewer cruise passengers will disembark there. In fact, by 1990, the government hopes to reduce the number of tourists from the current 150,000 per year to 125,000.

“We are small,” Swan says, “and yet we offer a lot more than simply somewhere to lie on a beach. To me, a visit to Bermuda is a classic experience of traveling into the past. It’s a nostalgia that brings people back all the time. (Indeed, 40% of Bermuda’s annual visitors have been there before). We try to make a statement about how human, progressive and sharing a place can be. We have preserved a way of living and we believe in it.”