Classes at Hospital Helping Youngsters to Get Ready for the New Baby

Sisters are in. Brothers are out. As trends go this spring, baby girls overwhelmingly seem to be the sibling of choice.

At least that’s the consensus of a group of 3- to 7-year-olds--whose mothers are expecting a second child--who were asked recently if they wanted a little brother or sister.

These children, and their parents, recently participated in a “Sibling Preparedness Class” at Scripps Memorial Hospital in Chula Vista. Using dolls, storytelling and a tour of the nursery, children as young as 3 are helped to grasp the concept of a new brother or sister. Part of the idea, too, is to help dispel some of childrens’ resentment toward a new sibling.

Accepting the Sibling

Children, the theory holds, will be more accepting of a new baby if they have some basic knowledge of what a newborn looks and acts like, as well as what a hospital, where their mothers will be spending time, is like.

The two-hour class is limited to 10 children between the ages of 3 and 8 and is taught by obstetrical nurse Linda Castiloeja. Not only does she teach the children the fine art of diapering, but she shows them the positive things they can do with their new brother or sister.

“I want to make the kids more aware that they have something that belongs to them,” Castiloeja said. “This is not Mommy’s or Daddy’s baby, all by themselves. I want to let them know this is their baby, too. That way they don’t get the jealousy.”

Castiloeja has been teaching the class for five months and says even the youngest participants benefit. “The young kids have images of what’s going to happen. The big kids are the ones with the questions. If all they (the young children) can do is come to the class, they can feel comfortable and allay some of their fears of ‘What is a hospital?’ ‘What happens to Mommy?’ ”

“They can see that this is the nursery and this is what their baby is going to look like. If they can just think that, that’s fine,” she said.

Parental Input, Too

The class is an extension of the education these children are receiving from their parents, Castiloeja said. Gone are the days when Mommy is unexpectantly and inexplicably whisked off to the hospital only to return a few days later with a sweetly powdered bundle that all the adults fawn over.

These days, parents are involving their children more with various aspects of pregnancy, and classes like the one at Scripps help prepare families for the stark reality of a new child joining the family circle.

“I like to show the kids, ‘Hey, this is what a baby is like. They kind of look funny and smell funny and they might wake you up at night, but it’s OK.’ I think that’s the most important thing, to let these kids know that those guilty feelings of not feeling comfortable with the baby are normal.”

In addition to acclimating the children to the sights, sounds and smells of newborns, the class gives parents some tips. Parents are told to place a picture of their child in the new baby’s hospital crib, which makes it easier for their child to pick out his baby among all the others in the nursery.

During class, mothers have their baby’s heart beat electronically monitored. The subsequent printout is given to their child as a “love letter” from the baby to the child.

Popular with Parents

Although the hospital has no statistics on the effectiveness of the sibling preparedness program, families have continued to flock to it by little more than word of mouth.

Pamela Hay, who recently moved with her family to San Diego from England, heard about the program from friends.

“We had to find out how the hospital system worked anyway, so we inquired with friends at the church we go to. They told us about the sibling class,” Hay said.

Hay said she wanted to make sure that her 3-year-old daughter, Lorna, would not be unduly jealous when the new baby is born. The class is a good follow-through to the encouragement they’ve been giving Lorna at home, she said.

“We keep telling her what’s happening and what’s going to happen,” Hay said. “I think it’s important to see other children going through the same thing as well, especially when you’ve only got one at home. It’s a bit more difficult for them.”

Ari Mora learned about the program from her doctor at the hospital. She brought 5-year-old Dani to the class because she wants her daughter to know more about babies than she did at her daughter’s age.

“Right now kids know more than we knew. Our parents kind of treated us like we were ignorant. They didn’t want to tell us anything about anything.

“I thought this class would be good for her,” Mora said of her daughter. “She’s already helping me with the nursery. We listen to her ideas. I’m trying to keep her informed.”

Kids Like It, Too

Seven-year-old Matthew Schneider gave a resounding “Yeah!” with two thumbs up when asked if he was excited about his new baby brother, who is due this month. His father Gregg was equally enthusiastic about the sibling program.

“I’m in the Navy and when we went on CHAMPUS, this was one of the programs we read about. We’re thrilled. They should of had this when I was a kid.”

The class was born out of necessity. Nine years ago, the president of Bay Hospital Medical Center (the hospital was taken over by Scripps in 1986) came to occupational therapist Norma Horine and obstetrical nurse Ventura McCart with a problem.

The hospital executive, concerned about the resentful behavior his 9-year-old grandchild was displaying toward a new baby, asked if there was a program that could help a child adjust to a new brother or sister. Hyran and McCart came up with the Sibling Preparedness Class.

At the time, the class was the first of its kind in the state, and Bay Hospital was only the fifth hospital in the country to offer it. The sibling class is now offered monthly at Scripps in Chula Vista and Scripps in La Jolla. There is a nominal fee.

“We put this program together because we felt there was a need for the kids who were coming in and showing some resentment toward being new brothers or sisters,” said McCart, 55, who has been an OB nurse for 36 years and is working on her third generation of delivering children. “We had a psychologist involved and we did a lot of research based on what other hospitals were doing.”

“We were looking for information of what type of need there was, what the children needed, what they needed to be exposed to,” McCart said. “We looked at what could be done in this short class and still be able to help the child cope with being a brother or sister.”

McCart said that Scripps in Chula Vista delivers about 350 babies a month, second only in number to Sharp Memorial Hospital. In the South Bay, where families often have more than one child, the sibling class proves especially helpful.

“This particular thing I definitely approve of,” McCart said. “This is a good means of communication, between not only the nurses and these Moms, but with their children, too.