Positive Images

Americans don't care so much about what something is, as long as what it is called presents a positive image.

Thus "Chinese gooseberries" became Kiwi fruit when introduced into the United States.

The janitor became a "sanitation engineer."

A variety of salesmen became "consultants."

Rebel guerrillas became "freedom fighters."

And, most recently, we began reducing the rhetoric about tax increases by calling them "revenue enhancements."

Hence, on the theory that almost any unyielding problem can be solved by describing it in positive terms. I suggest the following examples:

The homeless--"outdoorsmen."

A beggar--"funds solicitor."

Inside trader--"knowledgeable investor."

A massive layoff--"rigid expense control program."

Living below poverty level--"living life according to its essential priorities."

AK-47--"Sporting rifle."

Traffic gridlock--"Highway speed control."

Busting up a company--"restructuring."

These took a few minutes to think up. Undoubtedly everyone who reads this will be able to develop his or her own list without too much effort.


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