Cocaine Blocks Out Everything, but You Don’t Care

It is a drug that aims directly for the pleasure center of the brain, never missing its target. The “silver bullet” reaches your brain with such an impact, sometimes you forget your own name, but you don’t care. The euphoria is so intense, nothing else matters except the feeling.

I’m 29 years old and I’m a cocaine addict. I’ve had numerous overdoses, and I’ve experienced paranoid psychosis many times while intoxicated on this hideous drug. I was raised in an upper-middle-class family with strong morals, surrounded by an atmosphere of love. At 16 I was offered the drug by a neighbor, a veterinary doctor, along with his friend, a dentist. I had no idea what a life of hell acceptance of a seemingly harmless drug would work in my life.

From then until several months ago, when I was incarcerated, I can look back in despair and see how cocaine, little by little, took precedence over everything in my life, including food. I’ve used other drugs ranging from marijuana to heroin, but was able to halt the use of those drugs several years ago.

Unlike other drugs, when you feel the urge to get “high” on cocaine, it is so strong that everything of importance is blocked out, and you are obsessed with that euphoric pleasure that you felt last time.

Not only does the “coke” produce a psychological urge, it brings with it physical symptoms. Even after several months of abstinence, once I gave in to a passing thought about using cocaine, I would experience nervousness, heightened awareness, upset stomach and a rise in body temperature--without the drug being ingested.

Cocaine increases the chemicals of the brain called neurotransmitters used in the central nervous system. The predominant ones are dopamine and norepinephrine. These chemicals produced and released by the pituitary gland are responsible for sending messages throughout the central nervous system.

This may be why it is so addictive. While I used the drug, my awareness was so heightened that my long-term memory would record everything associated with the use of cocaine. Even after months or years of sobriety a person who has been addicted to coke may find that the sight of a razor blade, a flat mirrored surface, syringe or pipe may trigger the desire.