It’s Left Turns That Scare Them at the DMV

It takes more than a score of 70 out of 100 points on the driving test to get a California license.

A passing grade also requires that an applicant overcome an ailment common to most test takers: fear of licensing registration examiners.

They are gruff, we’ve been told. They’re all retired military men, we’ve heard. They bark their orders and never smile.

Truth told, 60% of the state’s 532 examiners are women. The uniforms and badges were scrapped in the 1970s and, according to Vince Hori, 40, assistant manager of the Department of Motor Vehicles’ Van Nuys office, examiners have been told to smile more, loosen their collars and project a friendly, relaxed image.

But that image is not always easy to project, given the conditions under which examiners must sometimes work. They are subject to auto accidents, insect attacks, dirty diaper odors and having their clothing stained with everything from coffee to urine. And many say drivers are getting worse. What follows are some of the war stories that can be heard in the Van Nuys branch of the DMV.

With her curly white hair and glasses, Louise Ishmael, 61, looks like somebody’s grandmother. Her outfit on a recent workday was bright and cheery--a blue-and-white print blouse, white slacks and light blue Reebok tennis shoes. She says nine years on the job has taught her to dress down.

“I give 20 to 30 tests a day,” she said. “And we’re exposed to all kinds of cars.”

For every air-conditioned and leather-seated Mercedes, there are many more heaps with all kinds of surprises in store for unknowing passengers. “The other day, I had to make the driver pull over and stop,” she said. “There were these two white bugs crawling up my arm. I think they were lice.”

Every driving examiner has seen his or her share of dirty diapers, vomit and other nightmares littering front seats. “We laugh about these things later,” Ishmael said. “It’s a source of relief.” (Another source of relief: The DMV provides smocks for the examiners.)

From the moment that she tells an applicant that 70 points are the cutoff, Ishmael says she is on the alert for signs of anxiety--shaky knees, sweaty brows and palms. “I tell them to relax and that they’ll do fine if they know the laws,” but she added that most examiners have a pretty good idea of who will pass--and who won’t--by the time they leave the parking lot.

Negative points can add up quickly. Change lanes without looking over your shoulder and you could lose four to eight points. Take a corner too quickly, stop in a crosswalk, fail to come to a complete halt at a stop sign--all count as three- to six-point deductions. Fail to stop for an animal and you might be flunked for not “scanning for hazards.” Running a stop sign or a red light, or pulling into oncoming traffic means an automatic fail. Applicants get three cracks at passing the driving test before they have to take the written exam again to earn another shot behind the wheel.

“They’ll do the darndest things,” Ishmael said. “And then turn around and repeat those famous last words, ‘Did I pass?’ ”

“I have gotten quite serious over the years,” she added. “When I started, I failed 25% of my drivers. Now it’s more like one-third. This week has been bad; it has been about 50%. I urge people to practice and come back. But some make an appointment for the next day. I think they think it’s all luck.”

Horror stories abound.

“I went on one drive where this man kept making lane changes without looking over his right shoulder,” Ishmael recalled. “I said, ‘Why do you keep doing that?’ He said, ‘I can’t see out of my right eye.’

“Our biggest fear is those left turns into oncoming traffic,” she added, shaking her head. “That’s when the passenger side is exposed.”

Examiners seem to believe that there is a high risk of accidents in the profession (one accident per 6,686 drives in California in 1988 for a total of 175 accidents and 47 injuries), which tends to scare off potential candidates for a job that pays $1,800 to $2,200 a month. (Applicants must have two years of college or three years of work experience--and a good driving record.)

Hori, a department employee for 17 years, recalls that one examiner was killed 10 years ago during an exam in Long Beach when the car collided with a bus. As recently as July 10, a Van Nuys examiner was injured when the applicant made a left turn in front of a car, which broadsided the vehicle. The examiner suffered minor arm and shoulder injuries and was back on the job two days later.

(Dennis McKibben was not as fortunate. He broke his collarbone in December and was out five weeks after an applicant steered the car into a fire hydrant. The accident occurred just as they pulled out of the Van Nuys office parking lot, Hori said.)

Despite all the headaches, Ishmael says she wouldn’t trade her spot in the passenger seat for a chair behind the registration counter.

“Before I took this job, I used to think you had to have a hole in your head to do this. I used to watch these applicants driving in, going over curbs, frightening pedestrians. But I like the contact with people. And it’s an important job. I’m making the roads safe for others.

Examiner Jan Moutes, dressed on a recent day in a green blouse and matching skirt, makes it a point to roll down the passenger side of the window the moment she gets inside a stranger’s car. “Some people don’t believe in personal hygiene,” she said. “And this is the kind of test that makes people sweat.”

Examiners sweat too. “You deal with a lot of negativity,” Moutes said. “In my two years, drivers seem to be getting worse. And when you fail them, some people want to argue, and they can get out of control. But I’m not one to take any nonsense.”

Moutes, 30, worked in a flower shop before joining the department six years ago as a clerk. She has been giving tests since 1987. From time to time, she says she feels resentment from male applicants who don’t take kindly to failing grades administered by a woman. On the other hand, many women applicants appear relieved when they see Moutes climb into the car.

Once Moutes failed an applicant who was just about to pass because the driver almost ran over someone pulling into the DMV parking lot. A well-heeled woman tried to slip Moutes a wad of bills to get a passing grade. Moutes declined. “I couldn’t live with myself for putting an unsafe driver on the road for money,” she said.

When she has a particularly rough day, Moutes feels fortunate to be able to turn to her fiancee for some empathy.

“He understands what’s out there--he’s a chauffeur.”

Scott Bullock, 32, tells nervous applicants to take a deep breath and relax. Sometimes he has to follow his own advice.

On one hair-raising day a couple of years ago, he had three near-miss accidents. One unnerved applicant hit the accelerator instead of the brake at a stop sign. Another made a right turn and never straightened out the wheel, jumping the curb. A third made a left turn into oncoming traffic, forcing Bullock to grab the wheel, pull up the hand brake and swerve the car to safety.

“What’s wrong?” the surprised applicant asked. “The car ahead of me turned so I did too.”

“People do the stupidest things,” Bullock said. “I wish we had a section to take off points for stupidity.”

“The longer I was an examiner, the tougher I got,” said Bullock, now in his fourth year--two as a driving examiner--with the department. “I started thinking about my own well-being. Would I want these people driving out on the street?”

He has had a few “walk-backs,” examiner jargon for those times when an examiner will drive no farther with an applicant. “If it’s too dangerous, I’ll just tell the driver to pull over and let me out. But those are the exceptions.”

Bullock turned in his examiner’s badge seven months ago to accept a promotion to supervisor. (Typically, an examiner spends two to five years on the job.) Instead of giving 20 tests a day, he now does about three a month. Still, when he rides in any car, his head is on a swivel.

“I’m always looking around,” he said. “I’m looking at cars coming at us, watching for lane changes.”

And, no doubt, driving his friends crazy.