Memories of <i> Glasnost,</i> and a Chicken <i> Faux Pas</i>

The first of 300-plus Soviets who are part of the Soviet arts festival have begun arriving and getting comfy.

The visitors are brimming with glasnost friendliness, and San Diegans are newly attuned to cultural and political nuance.

It hasn’t always been this lovey-dovey. Take the last time the Soviets landed locally en masse: the Jan. 3, 1977 ice hockey game between the Soviet national team and the San Diego Mariners of the World Hockey Assn.

The hockey that night was high caliber stuff. The political sensitivity, well, that was something else. The evening proved to be part Bobby Orr, part Chevy Chase.

The Sports Arena was crammed to capacity: 13,029. Interest was so high that KPBS, normally given to higher intellectual offerings, agreed to film the game for rebroadcast.

But the first faux pas had feathers and nearly scuttled everything.

Never a jovial lot in those dour days of Brezhnev, the Soviets were unamused at the idea of a man in a chicken suit with KGB emblazoned on the chest. (The Chicken was then working for KGB-radio).

“At first, the Soviets said they simply wouldn’t play if The Chicken appeared,” said Ballard Smith, the Mariners’ general manager. “They were convinced we were spoofing them.”

After delicate negotiations, a diplomatic compromise was reached. The Chicken could wear his KGB suit if he promised not to taunt the Soviet goalie.

As face-off time approached, flags were unfurled from the Sports Arena ceiling. The American flag was enormous; the Soviet flag was the size of a hand towel.

The Soviet anthem was played by the arena organist. Oops, it was the pre-revolutionary anthem of the hated Czars.

“You could see the Soviets standing on the blue-line, shuffling their feet, looking annoyed,” remembers Bruce Binkowski, who was the Mariners public address announcer.

The players were miffed. Their traveling companions, thought to be real KGB, were miffed times ten.

“It was eerie,” said Ron Oakes, the Mariners radio broadcaster. “You absolutely could not get near the players before the game. They had ‘shadows’ with them, and everybody was very guarded.”

After taking a 2-0 lead, the Mariners were worn down by the Soviets’ finesse and speed. Final score: USSR 6, Mariners 3.

The victorious Soviets waited on the ice for their anthem to be played, under the rules of international sport. They waited and waited.

The head of the Soviet delegation was furious. He angrily demanded an apology and was told sheepishly that the phonograph record with the (modern) Soviet anthem had been misplaced.

Mariner players complained that the Soviets had been helped by some late penalties called by the head referee, a Soviet. The Soviet coach replied that the Mariners were a bunch of crybabies.

The Soviets moved on to a game in Los Angeles. The Mariners continued to win games and lose money, finally folding at season’s end.

Moral: Not for nothing was it called the Cold War.

Gambling on Computers

Try one of these and call me in the morning:

* A San Diego firm, Phoenix Analytics, is selling computer software (“scientific, proven, simple”) to help you pick winning Lottery numbers. Manual and Fortran.

You’re supposed to send $26 to a Post Office box, no phone number or address listed. You just pays your money and takes your chances.

* Designer water for dogs?

Exclusively Rushmore’s Dog Drink, loaded with vitamins and minerals, is being marketed by a Chula Vista firm. Rover can take it straight or sprinkled over his Kibble.

* Fact one: Sheriff John Duffy is facing the political fight of his stormy career, with maybe three tough opponents.

Fact two: Duffy just hired Dennis M. Kenneally, a political pro and former Republican Central Committee member, as a “special assistant for intergovernmental affairs.” He once worked for State Sen. Jim Ellis (R-San Diego) and has just returned from the Pentagon.

Anyone seeing a connection between facts one and two is just a sour old cynic.