The Show: RollerGames (11 a.m. Saturday, KTLA)The...
The Show: RollerGames (11 a.m. Saturday, KTLA)
The Setup: Saturday-morning action that’s a hybrid of roller derby and MTV. Every week, two of the total six skating teams battle for points. They’re toughies, with team names that sound like heavy metal bands: The Maniacs, Bad Attitude, the Violators, Hot Flash, the T-Birds, the Rockers. There are men’s as well as a women’s squads. If one team can’t conquer the other, there’s a wrestle with real alligators to determine the winner. Half-time entertainment is provided by the likes of Debbie Harry, Warrant, Expose and Kool Moe Dee.
The Look: Spandex on skates. Three of the teams (the Violators, Bad Attitude and the Maniacs) wear bad-guy basic black with studs, jagged edges or disco-queen silver. The other three are the obvious good guys. The T-Birds pose as Olympic hopefuls in red, white and blue; the Rockers wear terribly trendy animal prints, and Hot Flash goes for hot pink and white. It may sound as if they all look different, but the fact is they all look the same--as if one unimaginative aerobics instructor designed six sets of outfits for Monday through Saturday. Undoubtedly, costume designer Rob Saduski has quite a range. He dressed Madonna, Divine and rockers for music videos before getting into this game. Part heavy metal, part mall wear, RollerGames fashions consist of bicycle shorts, crop tops and leggings most likely to appeal to those not yet old enough for car dates. Slightly more mature home viewers may find sartorial inspiration in the bevy of cheerleaders prancing and dancing on the sidelines, dressed in what looks like Calvin Klein underwear.
The Labels: All of the competition wear is custom made by Saduski and therefore not available in stores.
The Adaptation: The wardrobe components are fairly simple to imitate--with protective knee and elbow pads as optional details. To really pull off the look requires more than a few pieces of Spandex. A close personal affiliation, real or imagined, with super-heroes or mega-menaces would also help. As would a moniker, the kind that seems to be popular with underworld figures and heavy weight wrestlers. “Shifty” Condejas, “Deadly Debbie” Van Doren, “Bamm-Bamm” May, Paula “The Flea” and “Nasty Nancy” Wilkinson are not available. They’ve already been taken by RollerGames teams.
The Payoff: Sidewalks in Venice and Santa Monica may become more populated with rolling trash as a result of RollerGames wannabes. If they go the whole nine yards, look out. They’ll be dressed to kill.