Safe House : Three O.C. Shelters Offer Victims of Domestic Abuse Haven and Help

The sounds of birds, children’s laughter and a running dishwasher in the peaceful setting of a Laguna Beach house give no indication of the violence from which the occupants have fled. From the outside, Human Options, one of three shelters for battered women in Orange County, looks like any other comfortable upper-middle-class home.

In plant-filled rooms, individually decorated by various community groups, stuffed animals are piled on beds and cribs for the nine children under the age of 4 who currently live there.

“I expected everyone to have broken bones when I came in,” said a former resident of Human Options. “But there’s more to abuse than injuries that show.”

Although five years have passed since the woman escaped to the shelter, she wept while talking about her past.

Her husband “didn’t beat me outright like a lot of traditional cases,” said the 44-year-old mother of two. “Some men are more sophisticated now and don’t want to leave bruises. He’d make wild accusations, threaten to kill my boss, wreck my car, follow me, shake me, pin me down, squeeze my wrists. . . .”

One day she left home. Unlike some others, she never went back.

For Vivian Clecak , executive director of the two-story Human Options home, the woman’s story is all too familiar.

Statistics show that one-third of all families in the nation experience some form of chronic abuse--some physical, some verbal--and affluent Orange County “definitely parallels” those figures, she said.

“It’s not just physical abuse that’s a problem,” she said, adding that the problem affects all economic and social groups. “Verbal abuse almost always escalates into physical violence. It might start with a man throwing a plate against the wall, but it usually doesn’t end there.”

According to figures compiled by the California Department of Justice, more than 11,000 domestic violence calls were received by Orange County police departments last year. Almost 8,000 of those calls involved weapons.

The hot lines run by the three battered women shelters in Orange County field more than 12,000 calls a year. Safety Net, an emergency housing program that uses motels, receives an additional 2,400 calls each year.

And experts say fewer than half of all the cases of domestic violence are even reported.

So it is here that the victims of domestic violence seek refuge. They are welcomed to stay 30 to 45 days at no cost. The shelter, which provides meals and counseling services, is funded by both public money and private donations.

Staffed 24 hours a day, it also provides community education, referrals and counseling for men prone to violence.

The house is full today, its six bedrooms and 17 beds occupied by those who have fled the violence of others. The other two shelters--the 50-bed Women’s Transitional Living Center in North County and the the 36-bed Interval House in the western part of the county--also are full. And experts say if there were more shelters, they too would be booked.

“Orange County should hang its head in shame,” says Carol Hatch, executive director of the Commission on the Status of Women in Santa Ana. “We’re dealing with freeways and the cost of living instead of the fact that a woman gets battered every 15 seconds.”

Hatch and other experts complain that domestic violence cases are often misunderstood both by the victims and the police.

“Less than half are reported,” she said. “Police aren’t called until it gets really bad. And then the message is too often: ‘Stay there and we’ll come back when it’s a homicide.’ It is incredible that there were only 600 felony arrests in Orange County last year.”

Clecak said people often don’t know what abuse is and therefore minimize the seriousness of the problem. Abuse, she said, is any verbal or physical intimidation.

And women are not the only victims.

Shelter directors say all of the children coming into their facilities have been emotionally abused, and half of them also have been physically and sexually abused.

Chrissy is like many of the women who end up in the shelters for battered women--afraid, alone and reluctant to use her real name.

Now a “graduate” of Human Options, she has gone on to graduate from Carter Business School in Tustin and is putting her life back in order.

After years of being physically abused by her husband, she first stayed with neighbors before going to the Laguna Beach shelter.

“I feel a lot better about myself now,” said Chrissy, a mother of three who had no job skills before going to Human Options. “I want people to realize they can do something with their lives.

“Every since I was 5 years old, I’ve always been hurt. Now I’m 24 years old, and I realize I have a place in this world.”

Chrissy said that she was abused by her father and that her husband had witnessed his own mother being beaten by his father. Her own children are now in counseling.

“I don’t want my son to grow up beating women, and I don’t want my daughters growing up to be beaten by men,” she said. “I had to break the cycle. I drew the line here.”