Many Feel Hunger for More Than Holiday Meal : Homeless: For those who live in the streets, there are no special days. Loss and loneliness may be felt more keenly at Thanksgiving.

The day will hold no special meaning, Peter Nickholl was overheard telling a companion last week.

On Thursday, he will wake up early to claim a spot in the shower. Maybe stroll to the park for a few hours if it’s warm. Then he will enjoy the turkey, dressing, punch and pie at dinner, but it will be just another meal.

All and all, Thanksgiving shapes up as a rather routine day, in the mind of this High Plains drifter from Texas by way of Colorado and New Mexico, currently a homeless resident of Walnut Street and surrounding areas of Santa Ana.

“You realize what day it is . . . but it’s hard to get excited,” said Nickholl. “If I really thought about it too much I’d want to sit down and cry.”

For most people, the holiday season is a time of commemoration, gaiety and renewal of family and religious ties. Mental health experts have long recognized, however, that it can also be among the most stressful times of year.

Like many of Orange County’s homeless, Nickholl will have no family or friends with whom to share festivities at the Orange County Rescue Mission.

Taking their place, for him and many others, will be loneliness, denial, anger, disconnectedness and depression to an even greater degree than normal, experts say.

Homeless advocates note with irony that the needy often feel at their lowest ebb at the time when public attention is most focused on their plight.

“For those already having a tough time, there is no tougher time than the holidays,” said Gary Blasi, president of the National Coalition for the Homeless and a Los Angeles attorney who specializes in homeless issues.

“On those days they are very aware of how alone and disconnected they are,” said Diane Russell, director of the YWCA’s Santa Ana women’s shelter. “From a week before Thanksgiving until after New Year’s, I see a lot more pressure. Sometimes there is a rapprochement with their family for the holidays, or friends invite them to stay or they get to see their kids for a day. They are a part of something they remember from the past.”

But then it’s back to the shelter or the streets. Back to reality.

“Look into the faces of the people in line here,” said a man who identified himself as Carl. He sat on a bench in front of Santa Ana’s City Hall on Monday night where 200 homeless people gathered to eat an early Thanksgiving dinner provided by a charitable group.

A New Yorker and veteran of “standing on line for everything,” Carl waited for the crowd to dwindle before stepping up for his plate.

“People are glad to get a good meal but there’s not too much joy around,” he said, pointing out a friend here and there. “I have friends who will lay awake crying at night because they are lonely. At other times (of the year) it’s easier to put that out of your mind.”

The holidays make some people schizophrenic, he said. “Some try to act in the spirit--you know, be friendlier, more generous. But you can see they are mad at their situation. They get real jumpy. Me and my friends always stay away from trouble, though.”

Police and mental health experts said there is almost no way to document an increase in depression, suicide or violence among homeless during the holidays.

However, shelter workers said that while violence doesn’t appear to be any more common than at other times of the year, emotions do seem to run closer to the surface.

“Agencies like ours get an outpouring of resources at this time of the year,” said Dennis White, executive director of the Episcopal Service Alliance, which runs food and assistance programs throughout the county. “Some people know that we’ve got more to hand out and demand to have their needs met. Agencies that serve people are under more demands and pressures, too.”

A longing for family brings crowds of homeless into shelters during the holidays even though the weather may be Southern California balmy.

“That’s because we see a lot more people who are homesick and want to be around people,” said John Lands, executive director of the Orange County Rescue Mission. “It’s like being in the service and being overseas, it affects people differently. Many come to reminisce about when they were younger and had homes. We are also seeing a lot more families and it’s awful hard for the kids.”

Homeless advocates said they see surprisingly little resentment among the homeless in response to the heightened concern paid to them at this time of the year.

Said Blasi: “I feel more resentment, it’s more painful to me to see what happens to them during this time of the year. To see kids at Christmastime, or the mentally disabled eating out of garbage cans while the larger part of society is throwing away turkey carcasses.”

Nellie Gallegos will spend her 33rd birthday, the day after Thanksgiving, on the street with her husband Shawn, 23. She is from Kansas City and he, an unemployed welder, is from Texas. It will be the couple’s first holiday on the streets and they are not sure what to expect. They try to stay around people so they won’t think about their families back home, Shawn said.

They haven’t been able to save enough money from Shawn’s sporadic work as a casual laborer to afford an apartment but they are not angry at anyone for their plight and say they will be back on their feet again soon.

Still, mixed in with all the hope and optimism is a lot of anxiety this holiday season, said Nellie.

“It would be nice to have a home to go to.”