This Land Is His Land, From San Francisco to Disneyland

The land grab failed Monday night, so for one more year, the Big A’s mailing address will read ANAHEIM, Montana.

Joe Montana still owns the place.

A magnificent 7-0 in his first seven starts at Anaheim Stadium, Montana is now an incredible eight for eight. And, if you put the question to the Rams, eight is enough already.

What does it take to 86 this 49er?

The Rams had Montana’s shoulders pinned in the first quarter, down for a 17-0 count.

They intercepted two of his passes.

Adding the risk of injury to those insults, they also forced him to put his aching rib cage on the line and make tackles on both interceptions.

Montana might be the best who ever played at staring adversity in the face, calling audibles and striking deep. But the torment laid upon him Monday night was thick and heavy, a boggling collection of flukes and freaks and plays he won’t see again for another season.

Just before the end of the first half, Montana thinks he hits Roger Craig in the end zone to tie the score at 17-17.

Nope, offensive holding on San Francisco tackle Steve Wallace.

Next, Montana thinks he’ll have to settle for a 49-yard field goal by Mike Cofer. Not what he was looking for, but not bad.

Sorry, false start on San Francisco guard Terry Tausch.

So Cofer moves five yards back and tries it again as the first half gun sounds. Montana thinks the kick is high enough. He thinks the kick is long enough.

Wrong. Bong. The football ricochets off the left crossbar and falls out of play, mocking Montana as he leaves the field for intermission.

Was Montana bothered?

What, him worry?

“We were moving the ball,” he explained with a shrug. “Basically, we were just killing ourselves--getting touchdowns called back, getting penalties.

“Things had to settle down. (The Rams) were getting too many breaks.”

Of course. Things had to settle down. Don’t they always when Montana sees the light of a fourth quarter.

San Francisco trailed, 24-10, as the final period started. This is good, Montana noted. Fourteen points behind, 15 minutes to play.

Montana figured he had time to burn.

The Rams, stretching the already unfathomable, built their lead to 27-10 before Montana passed to Mike Wilson for a touchdown with 10:04 left. Then he hooked up with John Taylor for 95 yards, a nice little complement to the 92-yard scoring connection Montana and Taylor made in the second quarter.

But Cofer blew the extra point, leaving the 49ers behind 27-23.

Montana yawned. Field goals are boring, anyway.

So after the Rams’ Ron Brown fumbled the ensuing kickoff--who scripts these things, by the way?--Montana had the ball again on the Ram 27 with 6:15 to play.

Six plays later, Montana had the Niners in the end zone, Craig over on a one-yard plunge, and San Francisco had the lead, 30-27.

There was 3:42 left on the clock.

Hey Joe, what took you so long?

In his first seven victories here, Montana had averaged 302 yards a game. By Monday’s standards, a mere pittance. On this night, he beat that by 156 yards.

For the record, Montana attempted 42 passes, and completed 30 for 458 yards.

That was for another record. Montana’s. A new personal best.

And how does Joe Montana, Super Bowl hero and comeback king, celebrate the latest, if not greatest, rally from the dead?

With a fistful of noogies from pop singer and 49er fanatic Huey Lewis, minus the News.

“This one’s pretty satisfying,” Montana said. “It gives us the home-field advantage in the playoffs and that means a lot, to me especially. I don’t want any blizzards.

“I’d rather not fall behind, 17-0, but I guess that forces us back into our type of football.”

The type of football that, for years, has driven Rams crazy.

Matt Millen, a new teammate of Montana’s, can empathize.

“When I was with the Raiders and playing against him,” Millen said, “I hated the guy, ‘cause he always seemed to make something happen.

“Now that I’m with him, I kind of see how things are going and I expect him to do something. Kind of like, ‘Hey, Joe, let’s make it happen now.’ ”

Millen mulled a moment.

“He is tremendous,” Millen continued, “but remember, what he does won’t solve the world’s problems. But, it will win a hell of a lot of championships.”

And keep Anaheim Stadium under the auspices of Montana.