How to Strike Back When Blues Hit : Coping: Holidays mean depression for millions. A dating service booklet offers common-sense ideas for dealing with it.

The Christmas season that many spend 11 months anticipating each year can be a dreadfully slow, painful time for others who find themselves alone.

The time between Thanksgiving and New Year’s Day can be especially hard for some of the 72 million American adults who are single, widowed or divorced.

“Thanksgiving marks the official beginning of the holiday season, and unfortunately, it marks the unofficial beginning of the holiday blues for millions of people,” says Jeffrey Ullman, founder and president of Great Expectations, a Los-Angeles-based national video dating service.

Ullman’s company has put together a booklet offering 40 suggestions on how to overcome seasonal depression--one tip for each day from Thanksgiving Day through New Year’s Day.

The suggestions in “A Singles Guide: 40 Days/40 Ways to Beat the Holiday Blues” are not outlandish. The most unusual suggestion is learning how to use chopsticks (Day 11) and the most daring could be making a list of personal accomplishments in the last year (Day 38).

For the most part, the ideas are based on common sense, the kind that eludes people when they dwell on their problems.

Along with the suggestions are comments from experts who offer their theories on the causes of holiday blues and suggestions on how to keep from being trapped in a slump during what should be a happy time of year.

For example, Warren Farrell, the author of “Why Men Are the Way They Are,” writes that holiday depression may be triggered by stimuli such as Christmas songs that make people think of traditions that can no longer be repeated.

“Holiday blues haunt us because the ritual etches itself on our unconscious mind,” he says. “When something is left out like a cherished family member, it feels like looking at a puzzle with a piece missing.

“The piece that is missing haunts us to such a degree it often prevents us from enjoying the puzzle.”

Farrell suggests starting at least one new ritual that fits current and most likely future circumstances. He says simpler traditions, like getting friends and children together to pull taffy or make tamales, are easier to repeat year after year.

Farrell and Peter McWilliams, also quoted in the booklet, suggest one of the best ways to cope with the holiday season is to realistically expect some amount of depression.

“Treat the holidays like news of a new flu: Build up your immune system, plan a counteroffensive,” Farrell says.

Barbara De Angelis, a therapist and the executive director of the Los Angeles Personal Growth Center, says overindulging may be a physiological cause of depression.

“The more alcohol, sugar and heavy food you ingest, the more strain you produce on your body and the higher your chances of feeling depressed and fatigued and getting a bad case of the holiday blues,” De Angelis says.

“Enjoy with moderation, but remember that a treat isn’t a treat if you feel ill or dull after eating it,” she says.

While the booklet offers many ideas that include family or friends, it also validates the idea of time spent alone during the holidays. A solo walk in the woods or at the beach can be as important as having friends over to decorate a Christmas tree.

But Richard Stewart, international president of Parents Without Partners, a support group for single parents, encourages seeking the support of friends and family to survive the season, especially if it is the first without a loved one.

“Do not pass up any invitation to parties or other social gatherings. Keeping your calendar full will not give you the time to dwell on depressing emotions,” Stewart says.

The booklet is available free through clubs, churches and other nonprofit organizations or from Great Expectations, “Holiday Blues,” 11040 Santa Monica Blvd., Los Angeles, Calif. 90025.