Home Field Is Definitely Not an Advantage for Rams

The Rams play their last home game of the regular season today. Then, they catch a break in the schedule.

A road game next Sunday at New England.

A probable wild-card game at New York.

Possible playoff games at Philadelphia and San Francisco.

The Super Bowl in New Orleans.

This could be the year the Rams finally go all the way.

For a long while, most of us assumed that Anaheim’s lack of professional sports championships--24 years, two teams, zero titles--was due to bad pass defense and bad pitching. But last Monday’s 30-27 heart-render against to the 49ers was just too strange, a true bazaar of the bizarre, and a theory I’ve been holding longer than my driver’s license can no longer be suppressed.

The real problem has to be, must be--What else could it be?--Anaheim Stadium.

Can I get a witness? Buzzie Bavasi, the former Angel general manager, would be one. Buzzie once hired an exorcist to sprinkle holy water around home plate for the purpose of cleansing Anaheim Stadium and purging its poltergeist.

Good idea, bad execution. Since then, we’ve seen three Angel collapses in the playoffs, eight Ram shearings at the hands of Mr. Joe Montana and the countless smaller affronts that come with the everyday existence of Ram and Angel fandom.

Maybe it’s time for Exorcist II. Either that or a razing.

If Anaheim Stadium wasn’t built over ancient tribal burial ruins, how does one explain these scientific findings?

--The 1979 Rams reach the Super Bowl, lose in a valiant fight against the Pittsburgh Steelers and move from the Coliseum to the Big A for the 1980 season. They haven’t been back to the Super Bowl since.

--Doug DeCinces, a Baltimore Oriole third baseman, seals a 1979 Angel playoff defeat with a diving grab of Jim Anderson’s bases-loaded line drive. DeCinces then gets traded to the Angels and, in 1986, pops up for them with a trip to the World Series standing on third base during Game 5 of the American League playoffs.

--The rest of Game 5.

--A Ram rookie named Jim Everett makes his NFL debut in 1986 by coming off the bench to pass for three touchdowns and take the lead from the New England Patriots. But as regulation time expires, the Patriots loft a Big Ben pass into the north end zone, Irving Fryar leaps and New England comes down with a 30-28 victory.

--A promising Angel outfielder named Bobby Valentine jumps for a long fly ball and catches a cleat in the vinyl wrapping that covers the Anaheim Stadium fences. In an instant, a leg and a career are broken, neither to be the same again.

--Nolan Ryan gets Thurman Munson to golf a routine popup behind second base. Angel shortstop Rudy Meoli looks at Angel second baseman Sandy Alomar. Alomar looks at Meoli. The baseball hits the grass. Ryan looks at a one-hitter.

--An Angel manager named Cookie Rojas forgets his math and makes a second visit to the mound in the same inning to chat with reliever Rich Monteleone. Rojas is reminded that this is a violation of the rules and Monteleone is forced out of the game. The next day, Rojas is fired.

--The Sun and Surf--not a beachwear store, but the names of franchises in the World Football and North American Soccer leagues--attempt to play their home games at Anaheim Stadium. Within minutes, both franchises are defunct.

--A new postseason college football game, the Freedom Bowl, makes its debut in 1984 and recruits a couple of big-name contestants (Texas and Iowa) to usher it in. Hours before kickoff, a deluge hits north Orange County. Crowd count: 24,093.

The list has staggered onward and downward since 1966, leaving the Angels with as many pennants as the Seattle Mariners, the Rams with a 12-11 record in their past 23 home games and thousands of Anaheim Stadium patrons wondering if season tickets can be hazardous to their health.

Be it curse or worse, the trail of tears that runs through Anaheim was never better exemplified than in last Monday’s fourth quarter, with the Rams holding a 27-10 lead with 13 minutes left.

Quite simply, Anaheim Stadium refused to let the Rams win this one.

Its mud reached out and grabbed the football just as Ram center Doug Smith flicked the snap to Everett, resulting in a fumble at the 49er four. Its field shrunk whenever San Francisco John Taylor caught the football. Its security guards failed to keep Ron Brown out of the stadium.

Mull over this trifecta for a moment. Fumble by Everett at the four. Ninety-five-yard touchdown pass from Montana to Taylor. Fumble by Brown on the kickoff.

Three plays, back-to-back-to-back.

At least the Rams take some time when they fall apart on the road.

What can be done?

With the Angels, I used to figure it was all that organ music. Kind of hard to rally the troops around “Turkey In the Straw.” Last season, though, the Angels started to pipe in actual rock music between innings, some of it recorded in this decade. But in the end, even The Cure was no cure and the Angels went 17-23 after Aug. 20.

With the Rams, the best advice is get out of town. Fire up the frequent-flyer programs. Book those hotel reservations. Become the Let’s Dine Out Club.

For the Rams, the road to the Super Bowl is the road. After today, the Rams, in all probability, are looking at four consecutive away games before New Orleans. No more Big A until next August.

It could be the best thing that ever happened to them.