Class Brings Parents in From the Fringe : Education: Immigrant families are among those helped most by a United Way program that fosters involvement in the school.

Maria Elena Perez’s children have attended the Los Angeles Unified School District for more than 16 years. This year she finally went to her first parent-teacher conference.

Perez has 11 children, ages 7 to 21, but she says it wasn’t until she enrolled in El Nido Services’ “Parents for Parents” class that she had the self-esteem to talk with her children’s teacher. El Nido is a Van Nuys-based nonprofit child- and family-service agency.

The 50-year-old Perez, who lives in Arleta, said that through the parenting class she has also learned how to build her children’s self-worth, use praise effectively and foster communication with her family. “Now, with fellow classmates, I have become part of a support group of parents who can share common problems and give each other advice.”

The parenting class began in the northeast San Fernando Valley in March and is funded by $124,000 in United Way grants. Classes are being held at Montague, Vena and Sharp elementary schools in Pacoima and Sylmar Elementary School, areas targeted by the United Way because of their relatively young immigrant populations.

Pete Getoff, El Nido’s parenting program director, said “the course is designed to increase parenting skills and empower parents to meet the concrete needs of their children and to decrease stress in the family.”

To date, 177 people have graduated from the 10-week, two-hour-per-class program which is modeled after the agency’s “Parent Enhancement Program” offered in South-Central Los Angeles since 1987. Getoff says participants “tend to be Hispanic, Spanish-speaking, single or married, from 18 years of age to grandmothers.” The classes, held in auditoriums on the school sites, are led by Laura Gonzalez, a parent education specialist with El Nido Services.

The classes have spurred more school participation, agreed Gonzalez and Sharp Elementary School principal John Schroeder. While only a small number--about 60 participants at a school with an enrollment of 1,380 at Sharp Elementary--have participated in the classes, the parents have created what Schroeder calls a “real community support base.” Graduates of the spring class were successful in reviving the PTA at Sharp, which had stopped meeting two years earlier because of lack of participation. “The program has created a network of parents who no longer feel isolated. They feel comfortable and connected with others,” Schroeder said.

It was through the network of the spring class parents that Rosie Mendoza, 30, a single mother of two daughters, was encouraged to seek a part-time teaching assistant job at Sharp. She got the job--something she says she never could have done without the communication skills and encouragement she received from the class.

Mendoza, who lives in Pacoima, says she also values the practical tips she learned through the program. “Before the class, I kept pushing my 8-year-old daughter Diane to ‘do this’ and ‘do that.’ I learned that screaming at her doesn’t work. Now I talk to her, reward her when she does what I’ve asked. We communicate better.”

Gonzalez says many participants come to class looking for another way to discipline their children. Most, she says, are finding that yelling, and corporal and inconsistent punishment are not effective. “Frequently they find themselves repeating the same things they hated their parents for doing when they were children,” she said.

Gonzalez presents parents with options and helps them act out potential situations to test their new skills. “They applaud after role-playing sessions, and they try eagerly to use the new skills,” she said, adding that the participants have enthusiastically been sharing opinions and supporting each other. “For many, the class is the first time they have ever talked in front of a group.”

The basic communication skills, Gonzalez said, are essential to developing a power base in the school system and the community. “We talk about how they can communicate with the teachers, how to involve translators if they don’t speak English--most of the parents do not--and how they can become involved in change,” she said.

The discussions frequently center on self-worth, Gonzalez said, because many participants are facing multiple problems--domestic violence and poverty among them--that reduce their own sense of importance. “It’s hard to increase children’s self-esteem when the parents’ self-esteem is low.” Gonzalez helps the group define self-esteem and explore how they can help others feel better about themselves.

“Before the class I was calling my 13-year-old son ‘good for nothing’ and ‘lazy,’ ” said Hermelinda Govea, 35, a summer class student who has five children ranging from 4 to 15. “I learned that I was lowering his self-esteem. So I sat down with him and explained that I needed his help and that people have different duties in life. That same day, for the first time, he did his chores.”

In addition to self-esteem and communication skills, the curriculum covers topics such as early warning signs of gang activity and substance abuse, and how to detect and deal with child abuse.

The fact that the classes are held at the local schools is important, said Dorothy Fleisher, director of planning and agency relations for the North Angeles Region of the United Way. “The school is a trusted place, and many of these people would never go to a social service agency,” she said. “This program goes out to the people, and that’s one of the reasons why it’s so successful.”

Magdelena Valles, 46, of Pacoima says the communication skills she has gained are the most valuable part of the program for her. “I learned how to make my expectations more clear to my daughter, who is 9, and it has also helped me communicate better with my husband.” Valles says she first joined the class without her husband’s knowledge because he didn’t want her to attend the meetings.

“But now I’ve been able to help him understand,” Valles said. “He realizes I have to participate more in the school for our daughter’s sake.”