Bush Is in League All by Himself

I asked a guy, “Do you approve of the job George Bush is doing?”

“He’s not totally terrible,” the guy answered. “I mean, he’s not the most stupid person in the world. He’s not the Boston Strangler.”

More about Dukakis later. I pressed the guy: “But do you approve of the job he’s doing?”

He sighed. “Sort of.”

“Yes or no,” I pushed him. “Do you approve?”

“I’d give him a C-minus.”

“One word: yes or no?”

“Yes, I guess.”

Then in the next breath he added, “He’s no George Washington.”

That’s the most-popular-President-since-they’ve-been-polling kinda guy George Bush is. He’s always a Bush, never a Washington; always a bridesmaid, never a bride. He’s the guy you’d vote in to student council, not the guy you’d go with to the prom.

He has what is known in the trade as wide and soft support. He’s popular, but nobody loves him. With such begrudging support--as shown in our scientific sampling--many are wondering how Bush ended up with a 71% approval rating. Among the theories being offered:

The Good War Theory--There actually are people who believe the invasion of Panama represented a cynical, well-orchestrated public-relations ploy rather than a sincere desire to liberate oppressed people and protect American lives.

The model here is Grenada--an easy, quick, winnable little war. No more Vietnams. Slam, bam, thank you, Manny. Bush would have invaded China, but it would have dragged on so gosh-darn long. If this theory holds true, when we get our next President, look out Fiji.

A Barbara Bush Is Worth Two Nancys--People love Bar, and her style is setting the folksy cocooning tone of the Bush White House. Upper-class background, barbecue life style. JFK meets LBJ. And just when the honeymoon would normally be over, we learn she has a chronic disease that leaves her in pain.

Facile With a Faucet--Bush is proving to be a clever plumber, able to prevent bad leaks in a single bound, getting some good leaks out. When other politicians waffled on abortion, Bush stood firm. But then we learned that women in the Bush league are pro-choice. He denies it, but now all sides feel they are being represented in the White House.

The Boston Bungler--You don’t see a single “Don’t blame me, I voted for Dukakis” bumper sticker, now do you? Even people who voted for the Democrat are saying, “Can you imagine what would have happened if Dukakis had been elected?”

The Teflon Has Hit the Fan--Everyone wondered how George Bush could possibly follow a President as popular as Ronald Reagan. But the debunking of R.R. that began in the last days of his Administration has gained steady support. Rumors of a disengaged President have turned into sworn statements that the big guy was out to lunch for eight years. A feeling that Reagan was merely an out-of-work actor looking for a buck has been supported by his high-paying speaking gigs. The best thing that could happen to George Bush is for Reagan to do a Diet Coke commercial.

Regardless of whether it was luck or pluck, George Bush has managed in two years to go from an unelectable wimp to the most popular President in recent history. And if anyone doubts that he can play a mean game of poker, we may yet understand why George Bush stands by Dan Quayle. He’s always got that dunce in the hole.