‘Mr. Right’ an Appealing Forum Topic : Women’s issues: Some Pasadena Women’s Conference organizers cringed at adding a seminar on finding a man. It proved to be popular.

Jewell Winlock Henderson faced a roomful of about 50 eager, single women at the Pasadena Women’s Conference Saturday and gestured to the 10-point game plan she had tacked up on a chalkboard.

“Ladies, if you want to meet Mr. Right, you have to go about it logically, not emotionally,” she advised. “Design your man and then find him. If you had money to purchase a Cadillac, would you show up at a VW place?”

Half an hour into her seminar, titled “Finding Mr. Right,” Henderson offered living proof that her plan really works. The doors opened and in walked her Mr. Right--her husband, Charles Henderson--to a chorus of ooohs and aaahs from the participants.

Not exactly what you would expect from a gathering with the theme “Women of the ‘90s: Taking Control.” But the 13th annual conference, held at Westminster Presbyterian Church, was a study in diversity.

Across the hall from Henderson, a different group of women gathered to discuss “Lesbian Issues of the ‘90s,” an overview of the psychological and legal aspects of homosexuality.

Downstairs, three women told yet another group how they succeeded in male-dominated careers, from police officer to priest to bus driver.

“There seems to be more pluralism in the ‘90s,” said Karen Fite, an attorney who led the lesbian seminar along with psychologist Mary Hayden. “There’s not quite a politically correct way to be a feminist anymore.”

In fact, although coordinator Lara Larramendi Blakely said some of the event’s coordinators initially cringed at the addition of the seminar on finding a man, it was one of the best-attended workshops of the conference and did not seem to offend any of the participants.

“I like that they had something for everybody,” said Kristin Neville, 28, of Highland Park. “It’s an advance for women, not a retreat.”

Theresa Wisda, 37, of Pasadena, said she felt the Mr. Right seminar was a signal that the women’s movement may have been influenced by recent conservatism.

“I think feminists are softening a bit around the edges,” she said. “We’ve had this superwoman image, thinking that we can have it all, and we are finding out that we’re ending up with a big mess.”

Feminist leader Betty Friedan, a pioneer of the women’s movement, laughed heartily and exclaimed “Good Lord!” when told about the inclusion of the man-hunting seminar at the women’s conference.

Whereas such a topic might have raised feminist hackles a few years ago, she said, finding a mate is a preoccupation of many women, even if they are politically savvy professionals.

“The women’s movement isn’t over; it’s still evolving,” said Friedan, who was not affiliated with the Pasadena conference and did not attend. “If ‘Finding Mr. Right’ is in the context of the totality of women’s issues, like child care and parental leave, I think that’s OK.”

More than 300 people attended Saturday’s conference, choosing from 21 workshops on various themes, from financial planning and entrepreneurship to image enhancing and fitness.

Gerda Steele, producer and host of the “Ebony ‘90” radio show on KPCC, instructed women about how to speak, dress and walk with confidence. Questions from the audience included how to ask for a raise, how to deal with an opinionated mother-in-law and how to supervise men in the workplace.

“Women are not taught how to be very direct and straightforward. You have to come from the position where you feel you deserve whatever you’re asking for before you will get it,” she said.

Karen Mateer, a financial counselor, told women how to commit to goals in financial planning and how to control their financial futures. Leilia Bailey talked about how difficult it was to gain the respect of the thousands of male employees she supervises as director of transportation for the Southern California Rapid Transit District.

In a different way, Henderson’s Mr. Right session advocated gaining the respect of the opposite sex. The 51-year-old member of the Pasadena Commission on the Status of Women, which sponsored the conference, said women looking for a partner should zero in on the type of man they are attracted to and then seek him out.

“If you like plumbers, subscribe to plumbing trade magazines, go to a plumber’s convention and check out the plumbers,” she said. “If you’re at a convention, nobody knows if you’re there looking (for a man) or you’re there for something else.”

Miffy Ruggiero, a first-grade teacher who attended Henderson’s seminar, said that integrating personal and professional needs is going to be a new goal for women of the ‘90s.

“I think so many women are trying too hard to maintain their careers. It’s kind of nice that they fit this (personal) workshop in.”