This column was inspired by Diana Ross...

This column was inspired by Diana Ross and her unforgettable exhortation during Monday’s Academy Awards: “Sing with me, Los Angeles!”

Read with us, Los Angeles!

Actor Ed Begley Jr. was doing his part to help reduce smog the other day by riding the bus from downtown L.A. to Studio City.

He was hardly distinguishable from the other passengers, except in one regard.

Begley was the one talking on a portable phone.

Randy Ellis, meanwhile, is taking a personal stand against President Bush.

Ellis, owner of a vegetarian restaurant on 3rd Street, is giving customers free side orders of broccoli for the next month. That is, he’s offering them--anti-broccolites can refuse, though Ellis can’t understand why they would.

“Not only is broccoli filled with nutrients, but it’s a chewy vegetable--it gives you a good facial exercise,” he said.

Ellis, owner of the Kingsley Garden restaurant, fears a domino reaction could result from Bush’s rejection of the vegetable.

“First, broccoli,” he said, “then what? Asparagus?”

UCLA graduate student Russell Johnson points out that “catching up on the news of the day” in this complicated world would be easier if events could be combined. Hence, his idea for a 26.2-mile, Medfly-spraying competition (see illustration).

Sterile entrants preferred.

Eddie Murphy found himself stranded on the steps of City Hall Tuesday morning, betrayed by a flat tire.

Murphy, filming the sequel to “48 Hours,” was cruising up Spring Street in an ancient blue Cadillac when the tire gave out. While mechanics labored, he stood with his arms folded, shivering in the cold.

You had to feel for the guy. After all, he was just a few blocks from where he’d arrived by limousine for the Academy Awards less than 48 hours earlier.

Don’t spell as we spell . . .

A press release from L.A. Board of Education member Mark Slavkin refers to the school system’s growing enrolment .

The 32nd annual Greater L.A. Press Club awards show, held at USC the other night, was nothing if not thorough, covering 67 categories. One prize--in the “spot news photo/actuality” division--went to a radio station for recording the sound of a methane gas leak.

If you’re wondering, it sounded somewhat like Murphy’s tire going flat.

Still singing, Los Angeles?

MiscelLAny:

Electric lighting was installed on L.A. streets in 1882 despite what one pioneer recalled as arguments that “it was hard on the eyes, produced color blindness and optical illusions, was bad for ladies’ complexions, and kept chickens awake all night.”