In Need of Safe, Non-Threatening Dematerialization? Try EcoWreck
A San Clemente real-estate developer has trucked in 2,000 sheep to serve as “organic construction workers.” The sheep will graze for at least three months to clear the area for 5,000 new homes. Los Angeles Times, April 26, 1990 Q: What is EcoWreck?
A: EcoWreck is the New Age application of ecofriendly, that is, technologically non-threatening on-site dematerialization techniques.
Q: What is on-site dematerialization?
A: Wrecking, demolition, those kinds of things.
Q: Why EcoWreck?
A: Common post-Iron Age means of demolition leave in their wake numerous bio-ecosystemic hazards. Asbestos particles; dust; hornet’s nests disturbed, for example. Bulldozers emit high pollutants. Sweaty construction workers often resort to aerosol-based deodorants whose use threatens the ozone layer. And also, what if an errant wrecker’s ball were to strike a little sparrow or a maple tree and thus further maim Earth’s already ultra-fragile ecosystem?
Q: How does EcoWreck work?
A: It doesn’t “work,” it counterfunctions.
Q: Some examples, if you would?
A: Some modalities, you mean. Take a wooden structure that has passed its dematerialization study. A horse-drawn tumbrel brings a mature wild wart hog--nature’s bulldozer--to the site. Meanwhile, holes have been bored at selected points in the structure’s foundation by hand-operated brace and bit. Truffles are inserted in the holes. Released to get at them, the wart hog gnaws desperately at the wood and ultimately so weakens it that the foundation collapses and, with it, the structure.
Q: How long does this take?
A: Depending on the structure size, from one to six days.
Q: Why not more wart hogs to speed the process?
A: The wart hog is a solitary animal. Studies have shown that forced socialization can actually make it cry. Such cruelty belongs in the Dark Ages, not the New Age.
Q: The steel-frame building? What is the EcoWreck alternative to just dynamiting the sucker?
A: That is a good general inquiry submission. Actually, there are several, with the preferable technique decided by a vote of concerned environmental groups after impact studies and write-in campaigns to congressmen and newspapers.
One promising modality is the UNICEF-Dig. Under the auspices of the United Nations, schoolchildren from many cultures are given small wooden Ecospades and told to dig out the earth beneath the structure, singing UNICEF folk songs and snacking on wild roots and berries foraged on-site. Sooner or later, the building will collapse into the hole, whereupon a huge EcoRally is held on the site, and the children join hands around the EcoWreck. All natural, non-carcinogenic. Acceptable dematerialization, in brief. And, it uses no nuclear reactor-generated power.
Q: Felling dead trees?
A: Thousands of birds overfed with health seed are trained to perch on the tree’s upper branches. The combined weight of so many fat avians imposes stresses that dematerialize the tree’s structural integrity naturally, and it collapses. Of course, an artificial tree of equal size must be rolled in on wheels to provide alternative perches for the birds once the tree has fallen.
That’s what the March of the Trees in Washington next month is all about--forcing the government to face up to the funding crisis it has created by not having thought of or budgeted for a nationwide artificial-tree program.
The clock is ticking on this--or should I say the sundial shadow is moving. Clocks need either oiling or electricity or batteries, all of which are -- --
Q: Thanks a lot for your time.
A: Time is another thing that is running out. We are dedicated to making it run backward and thus using it twice. In the process, we . . . .
Hand-reeled biodegradable naturally magnetic tape ends, and so does interview.
