COMMENTARY : Baseball’s Big Spenders Find Themselves in a Big Hole

The instant gratification that is normally associated with the signing of top-name free agents has been hard to come by during the first five weeks of the 1990 season.

Nearly all the teams that made major free-agent purchases during the off-season are residing in the lower reaches of their division standings, most notably the Kansas City Royals, who are last in the American League West despite a couple of multimillion-dollar signings.

The Royals spent $13 million to acquire relief stopper Mark Davis and a few million more to take starter Storm Davis away from the Oakland Athletics. But the Royals have one of the worst records in the league, and no one is taking anything away from the streaking A’s.

The California Angels spent $16 million for Mark Langston, but they also are looking at a double-digit deficit in the West. The New York Yankees, who kicked off the free-agent free-for-all by making Pascual Perez an unlikely $6 million man, are wallowing in sixth place in the American League East. The Atlanta Braves signed Nick Esasky, but they were beyond help anyway. The only team that spent more than $5 million on a free agent and has anything to show for it is the Boston Red Sox, who signed Jeff Reardon and Tony Pena and stand among the leaders in the American League East.

What does all this mean? It means that even in baseball, you can’t buy happiness.

The A’s apparently don’t miss Storm Davis very much. They plugged Scott Sanderson into the starting rotation and haven’t missed a beat.

Sanderson is 4-1 with a 2.50 ERA. Davis is 1-4 with a 6.08 ERA. For those who said Davis couldn’t win consistently without good support, this dud’s for you.

The Royals do not have the offensive punch to make up for the six runs per game he has been giving up. He won 19 games last year despite a 4.36 ERA, but that isn’t going to happen anywhere but in Oakland.

Tommy Lasorda summoned security guards at Olympic Stadium in Montreal to stop Expos fans from banging on the metal dugout roof above his head during Wednesday’s game. The noise, he said, was driving him crazy.

Closer examination probably would have shown that it was not the noise that was giving Lasorda fits, but the four Dodgers errors that led to a 5-3 loss.

Noise, after all, is Lasorda’s specialty. Now, maybe he knows what the rest of us feel like after seeing his Slim-Fast commercial for a weight-loss product about 15 times a day.

More suffering in the Show-Me State: The St. Louis Cardinals and the Royals were supposed to be very competitive this year, but both are at the bottom of their respective division standings. Here’s why:

The Royals are powerless to stop the early-season onslaught by the streaking A’s. When Gerald Perry hit a grand slam against the Texas Rangers on Tuesday night, he took over the club home-run lead -- with two.

The Cardinals can’t even hit the ball out of the park when they hit it out of the park. Milt Thompson hit a fly ball last week that appeared to hit a sign behind the right-field fence before bounding back into play, but umpire Jerry Crawford ruled that it did not clear the wall, and Thompson eventually was stranded at third.

Said Manager Whitey Herzog, “You know you’re going bad when you can’t even score on a home run.”

Oakland reliever Dennis Eckersley might be the most consistent pitcher in all of baseball. His numbers to date are so close to his numbers at the same point in both 1988 and ‘89, it’s almost scary.

During the A’s first 27 games, Eckersley appeared 11 times and recorded nine saves, striking out 14 and giving up no runs, five hits and no walks.

In the same period in 1989, he appeared 11 times and recorded eight saves, striking out 13 and giving up no runs, six hits, and one walk. In 1988, he made 11 appearances and recorded 10 saves, striking out 12 and giving up no runs, five hits and one walk.

No wonder the A’s had no qualms about handing him a two-year, $6 million contract extension last week.

The Braves were hoping that the addition of Esasky and Jim Presley would pull their offense out of the dark recesses of the National League, but with both of them hurt, it is business as usual for the worst team in the National League West. Here are some lowlights:

The No. 3 spot in the lineup has produced a .190 average (19 for 100) and only two home runs.

Catchers Ernie Whitt and Jody Davis have combined for a .173 average (17 for 98) and only two home runs.

Braves pitchers have been nearly as effective as the catchers, combining for a .176 average (8 for 49) with two homers and five RBI.

Still, the Braves somehow came into the weekend with six victories and 16 home runs in their last 10 games, though four of their big hitters (Esasky, Presley, Lonnie Smith and Jeff Blauser) are recovering from injuries.

Manager Russ Nixon said he didn’t think that trend could last very long.

“You can say that we’re playing better without them,” he said, “but that’s a short-term condition. Only a damn fool would believe that the effects will not soon reveal themselves.”

The Moose Is Loose Department: The Seattle Mariners, under new ownership and under pressure to draw well at the Kingdome this year, were hoping that a new mascot would pique fan interest. But, so far, the fans just seem to be piqued. The Mariners Moose has not gone over very well, unless the rhythmic chant, “Kill the Moose, kill the Moose” is considered a form of praise in Seattle.

Rangers outfielder Thad Bosley pinch hit for Pete Incaviglia on Tuesday and hit a three-run homer. So what happens the next night? Incaviglia pinch hits for Bosley and hits a three-run homer. This is what is known as Arlington symmetry.

Baltimore Orioles relief pitcher Gregg Olson is sporting a new set of stuffed Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, which he keeps on the upper shelf of his locker.

If he continues to pitch the way he has the past year or so, look for cartoon characters to become very popular around the major leagues, where it pays to be a little animated sometimes.

Dodgers pitcher Ramon Martinez has to be getting homesick. When the club left Los Angeles the week before last, he was one of the top pitchers in the National League. He had given up just seven earned runs in his first four starts and was ranked among the league’s top strikeout pitchers. But in his two starts on the Dodgers’ current road trip, he has given up 11 earned runs in seven innings and watched his ERA balloon from 2.25 to 4.63.

A’s manager Tony La Russa has been very active in the animal rights movement, and he isn’t afraid to take his politics home with him.

The game between the A’s and New York Yankees on Monday night was delayed when a stray cat appeared on the field and lapped the stadium. The cat eventually was captured, and La Russa spent the next two afternoons finding it a home.