Self-Respecting ‘Whop Pop’ Puts Curse on Detractors

Dear Dianne:

Hooray! Hooray! Someone finally noticed this idiotic complaint. . . . My vanity plate, which is WHOPPOP, was given to me as a birthday gift from my daughter, who, by the way, is married to an Italian. . . .

Why would we try to ridicule or insult our own heritage? I am as proud of my Italian heritage as I am to be an American. . . . I have no quarrel with those whose opinions or beliefs differ from mine but I also have my rights to that same freedom of expression. . . . Today I am proud to be called WOP or DAGO. To paraphrase an old saying, ‘There are only two kinds of people, those who are Italian, and those who wish they were.’ . . .

And finally, to the Sons of Italy, who in their infinite wisdom begat this ridiculous complaint, may their pasta forever be limp!

Thank you very much,

Matt Manassero

Brea

Dear Matt,

Look, I’m not Italian but it seems to me that you may have crossed the line with this pasta business. I mean, a nice civil disagreement about WOP and DAGO is one thing, but once you start getting into al dente versus limp pasta, well, you’re on your own. I’ve published your letter at your own risk. It’s a WHOPPER.

Dear Dianne:

I love you for your great good sense and your concern for cows. And your wonderful humor!

But seriously. I have a dog that we love as a real family member. My wife says the dog and I have too much in common. But old Rover sniffs at everything and bites things that are not good for him. So I got some small magnets to help protect him from his omnivorous appetite.

He wouldn’t eat the magnets as such, so I wrapped them in hamburger and he gulped them right down. Later my wife took him for his walk. . . . Everything was fine until they came to the fireplug at the corner. He sniffed at it and raised his leg and zap! The magnets wrapped his midsection around that fire plug and he yelped. And my wife didn’t know about the magnets. (She hadn’t read the column).

She called me and I got him off the fireplug. No real damage but now she reads your column first! Old Rover wouldn’t go near a fireplug.

I love you Dianne.

John E. Barnes

Garden Grove

Dear John,

I’ll have you know that my humor is very serious, thank you. The column that you refer to, about the heartbreak of bovine hardware disease and the breakthrough magnet-in-the-stomach cure, was a plea for public awareness. Seriously. And, John, I think your wife is right, you dog you. But what the hell . . . I love you too, Rover.

Dianne Klein

Your story on the poor indigent mother Irma Garcia makes me want to puke. The Irma and Juan Garcias of this world are using the system and the American taxpayers as suckers. . . .

Pure and simple, they are working a scam to get something for nothing. These poor indigent mothers from Mexico are sent or work their way past our borders for the express purpose of having their kids born here in the United States.

Why don’t you tell your story in a way to tell the real truth? Why don’t you write from the perspective of most of the general public (U.S. legal citizens) who are upset with the thousands of illegal aliens who are milking the system dry?

Tony Jones

Tony Jones

Is that your real name? Just wondering. As to the rest of your letter, why don’t you try sipping some 7 - Up next time you read my column? Does wonders for that queasy feeling.

Dear Ms. Klein,

Your column of Wednesday, Aug. 8, on the Medi-Cal situation was like a breath of fresh air. It is so refreshing and totally unusual for a newspaper to publish a factual, well-researched article on this subject, especially by a non-medical person. You are to be commended as a writer and reporter for getting the facts firsthand.

Sincerely,

Mikel Duino, M.D.

Corona

Dear Dr. Duino,

Thanks. Just goes to show you can’t displease everyone. Although some people (Yo! Tony!) think I try.

Dear Mrs. Klein:

As an observer of the Orange County scene as well as an ardent feminist, I feel you should address the following issue of importance.

On the Fourth of July, together with thousands of others, I visited Dana Point and Doheny Park. I observed a ritual that I had seen on several other occasions, initially years ago in Sausalito in which my wife was the victim, and most recently, on the occasion of our latest national holiday.

I refer to the distinct inequity in the number of restrooms available to each gender of the species. Wherever crowds gather there is an obvious abundance of facilities for the male of the species, but a woeful shortage of same for the ladies. . . .

I propose that a countywide blue ribbon commission be created to address this issue. Let this group seek members from the local community of architects, public health professionals and a cross section of the populace that is forced to wait ‘to go.’ Let the goal of this group be to make Orange County the first county in the country where ‘No Waiting’ applies to all, regardless of sex. . . .

I am writing simply as a concerned observer. I use the other side.

I hope that you will use your platform to rally the ardent feminists among us, as well as other concerned citizens, to address this problem. . . .

Thank you for your time.

Cyril Sheehan

Laguna Hills

Dear Mr. Sheehan:

Your letter concerns me greatly. Where is your wife? Why haven’t I heard from her as well? You didn’t leave her at Doheny Park, did you? Regardless of your expressed concern about the ‘woeful shortage of same for the ladies,’ I know how the male of the species can be about these things. Men hate to wait, especially for a woman. They don’t call me an ardent feminist for nothing.

Dianne Klein’s column appears Wednesday, Friday and Sunday. Readers may reach Klein by writing to her at The Times Orange County Edition, 1375 Sunflower Ave., Costa Mesa, Calif. 92626, or calling (714) 966-7406.