Practice, Practice, Practice

The golf boom moved to another level early Tuesday in Stamford, Conn., when burglars stole five 50-pound bags containing 2,500 practice balls from the Sterling Farms Golf Course.

The putting green next to the course’s pro shop, which recently was upgraded at a cost of $60,000, also incurred heavy damage.

Jack Powers, the course’s assistant pro, viewed the theft and vandalism with surprising calm. Powers told the Associated Press: “Maybe they tried to play a little golf before they left. What can I say? This stuff happens. It’s just unfortunate. Maybe they need a lesson.”

Add golf theft: Said Stamford Police Lt. Joseph Falzetti: “It had to be a hacker. I know it. I think whoever took them is probably just a lazy, lousy golfer who needs some practice.”

That certainly narrows the list of suspects.

Trivia time: Who holds the major league record for consecutive seasons with at least one grand slam?

Ask the parents: Not long after Indianapolis quarterback Jeff George signed his contract, a headline in the Indianapolis Star read: “Is Jeff George Worth the Salaries of 500 Teachers?”

History maker: After Michael Jordan took batting practice recently at Comiskey Park, Chicago White Sox publicist Chuck Adams told Toni Ginnetti of the Chicago Sun-Times: “There probably haven’t been that many people on the field since Disco Demolition Night.”

Adams was referring to the infamous 1979 doubleheader promotion that offered a 98-cent admission to every fan who turned in a disco record. The records were to be destroyed between games. Many in the sellout crowd brought extra records and showered the field with them. Hundreds of fans stormed the field and tore up the grass. It took police an hour to restore order. Because of the field’s condition, the White Sox forfeited the second game to Detroit.

Brave attempt: Advertisers have touted next Wednesday’s world all-star amateur baseball game at 52,000-seat Atlanta-Fulton County Stadium as “Atlanta’s ticket to the 1996 Olympics.” They hope the event impresses Olympic site selectors with Atlanta’s enthusiasm for amateur sport.

If this is Atlanta’s ticket to the Olympics, don’t book reservations just yet. Fewer than 5,000 seats have been sold.

The human thesaurus: Ohio State football Coach John Cooper recently was asked by the Columbus Dispatch if he is worried about fans’ criticism of his having lost five of 19 recruits because of academic difficulties.

Said Cooper: “We’ve got more important things to do than worry about what some of those idiots might think.”

Monday, the first day of practice for first-year players, Cooper told the Associated Press: “I intended that comment as being directed at those people who are going criticize any move that you make. . . . Idiots was a bad choice of words, but I certainly was not referring to those great masses of fans we have out there.”

Trivia answer: Willie McCovey of the San Francisco Giants with nine, 1964-72.

Quotebook: Atlanta Falcon Coach Jerry Glanville, in his book, “Elvis Don’t Like Football”: “My coaching career is marred by two regrets. The first is that I never met George Halas or Vince Lombardi. My other regret is that I have met so many of the guys who are coaching now.”