Offbeat Offer: Ilona Staller, the former porn...

Offbeat Offer: Ilona Staller, the former porn queen who is now a member of the Italian Parliament, wants to help solve the Mideast crisis. “I am available to make love with (Saddam) Hussein,” Staller said in Buenos Aires. “I am willing to let him have his way with me if in exchange he frees the hostages.” An Argentine Christian group complained about Staller’s “exhibitionist attitudes.”

Water Worries: Texas bottling executive Rick Scoville was bothered by TV reports from the Mideast. “To my dismay, I saw our American troops drinking Evian water, which is imported from France,” the president of Artesia Waters Inc. said. But that will change. The company announced Tuesday that the military will buy 17,000 gallons of water for U.S. troops massing in the Mideast.

Court Challenge: Greta Garbo’s last years were so clouded by sickness and alcohol that she was not competent to sign a will that left nothing to her Swedish nephew, his lawyer argued in papers filed this week in Manhattan. Garbo, who died April 15 at age 84, willed an estate worth from $50 million to $100 million to Gray Reisfield, a niece, explicitly cutting out Sven Fredriksson, who quoted news reports describing Garbo’s heavy use of vodka and Scotch as well as arteriosclerosis, which can affect brain functions.

Release Me: Geraldine Ferraro’s son, John Zaccaro Jr., starts law school in Washington, D.C., this fall at Catholic University of America, but first he is asking a judge for release from probation on a cocaine-selling conviction in 1986. If he is not released, Zaccaro would have to return monthly to New York, where his probation is being supervised. The son of the 1984 vice presidential candidate served three months of his sentence under house arrest at a Vermont luxury apartment.