POP MUSIC REVIEW : A People-Pleasing Parody of a Performer

The saucer-shaped room goes black. There is a blaring fanfare, a flurry of motion in the darkness. Something big is coming, something Wayne Newton .

Suddenly a looming, black-garbed presence is illuminated in a stab of white. A shriek rises from 2,000 throats: “Aaiiieeee! This man has no soul!”

Ha, just kidding. Actually, they were screams of love. You gotta love Newton. It’s a hot, four-hour drive to Las Vegas (less on caffeine) and here the man had carried that desert town’s pyrite pleasures all the way to the Celebrity Theatre for a little bit of eternity Saturday night. For us.

Ennobled by the knowledge that Mr. Newton has just recently had a long-fought libel victory overturned by a higher court, let us consider this man, the legend.

First off, his Anaheim show portrayed a highly likable entertainer with a voice that’s serviceable, if not nearly on a par in character or ability with that of such other Vegas greats as Sinatra, Elvis or Tom Jones. And even when Newton’s act seems to be an oily self-parody, there’s no mistaking that he has a genuine affection for his audience. He worked for a solid two hours and 20 minutes.

But Newton must be a born celebrity because, like Charles Nelson Reilly, it’s hard to figure what he ever did to become one. Unlike Elvis and other talents whose spark of originality was deep-fried by the Vegas showrooms, Newton never was that unique a performer. He had a boyish high-tenor voice (now with some deeper Robert Goulet-ish shadings) and some undistinguished easy-listening songs. It’s unlikely that “Danke Schoen” is ever going to find its way into a time capsule.

While he did that and other old potatoes like “Daddy, Don’t You Walk So Fast” and “Red Roses for a Blue Lady,” his show was largely a Disney-deep romp though the hits of Presley, Sam Cooke and others.

Newton is kind of like the Epcot Center of entertainers. The Disney World theme park may make accessible cute, simplified versions of world cultures and the natural world, but why settle for plastic when the world is so full of the real thing?

A strong case in point Saturday was Newton’s soulless versions of “You’ve Lost That Lovin’ Feeling” and “Unchained Melody.” Why bother with that when it’s so easy to see Orange County’s own Righteous Brothers, who both originated those hits and can still sing them like they mean them? Newton’s Vegas-smorgasbord set also had some fairly unnatural transitions to it. Early on in the show, he romped through a gospel number--with some fervent singing from backup singer Frances Lee--and went straight from that to a lewd joke about Madonna and Warren Beatty. He went through some jarring changes within just one song. His reading of “Bridge Over Troubled Water” tapped a variety of styles, including a double-timed disco rhythm, that were only connected by an utter disregard for the notion that the song might m ean something.

Newton can be a real “people person,” as shown by some of the warm, lively exchanges he shared with fans in the audience. With that gift, it’s a shame he put on a show that largely eschewed spontaneity for a glib, scripted shtick-fest with his singers and orchestra members. It smacked of artifice and made one feel a bit manipulated, recalling something Orange County country musician Greg Gaffney recently said in describing a Newton show: “It’s like he was standing there pumping quarters into your vibrating bed.”