TAFFY: It’s a Woodstock for Under-10 Set : Stage: 2,300 show up to watch Puddledumplin’ pigs, perky singers and comic mimes entertain at the festival.

Two pigs, Lord and Lady Bacon, were renewing their wedding vows.

“We are gathered here to link these sausages in holy hamhock,” intoned the minister.

A crowd of smiling children--human children, that is--made up most of the wedding party. A girl caught the bouquet.

It was the highlight of the social season in Puddledumplin’. Of course, Puddledumplin’ doesn’t have a long season, for it’s part of the two-day TAFFY, the Theatre Arts Festival for Youth held every fall at the Peter Strauss Ranch in the Santa Monica Mountains. This year’s TAFFY drew approximately 2,300 on Saturday and was expected to be at least as popular on Sunday. If many more had come, it would have been too crowded for comfort.

High drama broke out Saturday when one of Lady Bacon’s ex-flames showed up to challenge the nuptials. Lord Bacon and the upstart fought a duel for Lady Bacon’s hoof. The weapon of choice: a big dinner roll. Lord Bacon ate his roll faster, thereby vanquishing his rival.

The Bacons were some of the Taffy Town Players, costumed and made up as Victorian-era creatures. The Players strolled around the lawn, engaging passersby in conversation. This year, they also presented more formal performances, such as the wedding, than I remembered from previous TAFFYs.

But the main draw at TAFFY isn’t bovine. It’s the array of top children’s entertainers, of the human variety, who fill three stages from 11 a.m. to 5 p.m.

It was difficult to choose which stage to visit at any given hour. The decision could easily hinge on such variables as which stage was closest to the Ben and Jerry’s ice cream truck, thereby providing a place to sit while slurping a cup of Cherry Garcia.

That particular moment resulted in time spent watching one of TAFFY’s few out-of-towners, Bob Schwartz, a singer from Canada. Schwartz doesn’t project the same kid-level qualities of such superstar Canadians as Raffi or Sharon, Lois and Bram, but his act was notable for his poise in his interactions with audience members and for his use of a backup chorus of local kids.

Children swarmed over the stage to be closer to perky singer Joanie Bartels, and they howled at the antics of comics Schwartz and Chung. Or at least most of them did; when Chung made a remark about one little girl, she threw a stick at him. Such were the perils of performing at this Woodstock for the under-10 set.

Of all the sideshow attractions at TAFFY--including a slew of crafts booths or doodling on the interior walls of a giant inflatable pillow--the one that most interested my 5-year-old escort was balancing on the row of rocks that lines the road up to the ranch house. Such were the pleasures of a day at TAFFY.